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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As background, my DH lost his father at 8 and his mother did not start another serious relationship until DH was 20; she was solely focused on raising the kids and has a particularly strong attachment with DH relative to his sister. She lives 3000 miles away so he relies on her more for counsel and emotional support. I never made much of this, thought it was good for him to have another outlet. Now we have child number 1 and I have just realized the tremendous influence his mother has on him. If the kid is sick he immediately calls his mom and very often wants to [b]override my decision[/b]s. The more I pay attention the more I notice the influence his mother has in every decision he makes, from jobs to child rearing etc, decisions that impact our family. I have broached the subject with him but he glosses over it, does not want to deal with it. How to set boundaries, when she does not say anything to me directly?[/quote]

This may come as a shock to you, but "the kid" is not just yours. His opinion  matters and he gets to make decisions too just like you.

Counseling is a must. This isn't an MIL or a momma's boy problem. This is  two people battling for control  ( you and dh) instead of functioning as a team.[/quote]

We function really well and are mostly in sync, until MIL gets involved. He has been known to value the advice of his mother over that of our pediatrician. So no this is not the case of my DH having a strong opinion on a particular issue, this is DH coopting the opinion of an intrusive MIL.[/quote]

Sometimes I value my moms opinion over the pediatrician too. Again you don't have an MIL problem your HUSBAND is bringing these issues to his mom. Deal with him. But I'm willing to bet he has more of an opinion on things than you want to admit and it's different to yours.[/quote]

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