Reply to Seriously, what is the downside?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]straight woman married to a bi guy for 15 years here & still going strong.

We have been monogamous up until recently, when I gave him permission to have sex with men as long as it's safe sex.    Like the PPs, he likes (occasional) sex with men but fell in love with me, the woman.

FWIW, he's met a LOT of apparently 'straight' married guys, incl. religious guys, who are looking for the same thing - a bit of man on the side. We're unusual in that we are open about it, they are often jealous because their wives don't know and can't know.

It's way more common than people want to believe. [/quote]

Very true but how fair is it to their wives to hide this activity?[/quote]

It's a chicken and egg issue. Back in my single days, I used to meet tons of women, via personal ads. Some of the dates would be going along well and there'd be another date and another date. Inevitably, I'd eventually disclose my bisexuality. I'd get two responses:

1. "I'd be ok with that, as long as you didn't ever act on it."
2. "I'm not ok with that, i'm very attracted to you, but I'm sorry I can't date you."

Never a "Well I'd be ok with that, and fine with exploring it with you." Which I'm guessing at least some bi guys would love to hear.

[b]I think bi men are driven into hiding because of the prevailing attitudes of women.[/quote][/b]  Women can't help it. It's a threat knowing that a bi guy wants something sexually that a women physically can't provide. The fear over committing to someone for life that has a desire that can't be fulfilled by a wife is what causes a women to doubt, and save herself from future heartache. How can we expect a man to suppress his desires/feelings if he is truly bi?[/quote]

How can you expect a man to suppress his desires for other women (or vice versa) when monogamy is unnatural?[/quote]

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