Reply to At the end of my rope with low sex drive husband

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[quote=Anonymous]
Selfish is a vile word. Why doesn't the English language have a way to describe when a woman's priorities don't center around someone else?

Sex is foundational in a marriage. For centuries is was the sole reason for getting married (other than tying families together)---to have sex!

Dirty, dirty, selfish OP for wanting what is absolutely normal in a marriage. What the hell is wrong with people? To be lonely in your marriage is it's own kind of hell. This is the world OP inhabits. She's doing her part. DH won't even see a doctor, and dares to pathologize his own DW's sexual needs.

This kind of shut down is seen all over this board. The pain is palpable.

No answers here, OP, just loads of empathy. I am very sorry you're in this situation.

I also married quickly after a bad break up and sought stability. My guy turned mean, real mean. So, the relationship didn't last. But, I had to field questions constantly about what I did. My answer became, "What can you do with a mean man?" and that finally shut people up. There's this idea that you're at fault. You're NOT. I gave XH an soft ultimatum, either we work on the marriage or there won't be one. He made his choice. I made mine. And, it's been over six years of him regretting his mistake.

There is nothing wrong with demanding a blood test. There is nothing in the world wrong with you needing what you need to be a happy wife. Try to follow up on each of the suggestions offered by the well-meaning PPs and ignore the rest. Ignore the selfish, the diva, the "you knew when you married him," crowd and find peace for yourself.

You only get one shot at life, and it goes so quickly. Stop waiting for him to wake up. Make the demands and prepare a way forward for yourself---whatever form that may take.
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