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[quote=Anonymous]Hang in there OP.

I would possibly do a few surprise visits and maybe work with a social worker at the facility or something as other people have suggested . If you confirm that there is nothing actually wrong then I think it is fine to limit contact with your mom to one phone call a day.

My grandmother lived in her home with my uncle and that was a disaster for many reasons. I would not feel bad for not being able to have her in your homes because frankly most people are not mentally or emotionally equipped to do a good job. You just have to make sure she is somewhere receiving adequate care.

Also for everyone who is suggesting she go home and just have home health aides and nurses come into her house you really don't know what type of folks they hire. I have a family member who has a felony conviction (many years ago) and is truly one of the most evil people I have ever met that worked as a home health person through some agency for a good ten years. The thought of him potentially being in a house with an elderly person alone is very scary. I know nursing homes can have crime issues as well but at least there are more eyes there than just one elderly individual living alone. 
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