Reply to Spouse never on my side

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nothing you have said so far shows that your husband is wrong or hurtful, nor that he never takes your side.

1. Most people don't have help, even though they work full-time or more. 
2. Teens should definitely learn the basics of life management.
3. Both your husband and yourself have a right to voice your opinions, and when you are want to reach a joint decision, then you have to work to persuade the other. 
4. If your feelings were hurt by your spouse at a public occasion, a conversation should have ensued. What did you say?

We can't tell here is your husband is socially clueless (different from "doesn't love me", which I highly doubt), or if you're being too sensitive, or both.

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I am at a near breaking point, and I have told him. Waiting to get time off from work (we are short staffed) to get some vacation. 
For now, I expect a statement like this: " I know that you're tired, let's try to get the, kids to help out more, the laundry should not dominate the one day you have off each week". I have never put my kids ahead of him. I cringe at the thought of my son hearing this unchivalrous behaviour. 
Once when I needed the computer to get some work done, I asked my daughter to get up several times (the norm). He broke in to suggest that I use my I phone instead and let dd use the computer. I can barely see the tiny screen, and I needed to pull up several documents. My sister could not believe him. 
Funny enough, I think he hates the kids too. Who would encourage their kids to fight their mother?[/quote]

Your response shows that you really don't understand him, and he doesn't understand you. It's not a question of love, OP, get that into your thick head. 
You need CBT therapy to resolve this. Like I said before, your husband sounds very typical of someone who is socially clueless (Aspie tendencies, call it what you will). He needs to be told that his words are not empathetic, and he needs to acquire automated responses to cues you give (so first he needs to observe and recognize those cues!). You, on the other hand, need to reduce your emotional reaction and sensitivity, because it's killing you. So, couples' therapy.[/quote]

You're so empathetic.   For serious: do you literally get off on slapping at posters here?[/quote]

No. I've been in OP's shoes, with the same kind of husband, I've done couples' therapy and found it to work. So I give the benefit of my experience to help her. 
At the same time, I'm sensing a lot of unwillingness on OP's part to really understand and address the situation, so that's why I'm not using soft language. Even when you're obviously the victim, it doesn't help to just accuse the other of X, Y, Z, and then do nothing about it. I've learned the hard lesson that sometimes I can be unfairly put upon, and then have the additional burden of seeking a solution myself because nobody else is going to do it for me.

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