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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am in love with a man who is amazing, smart, charming, generous, affectionate, funny. We are planning to get married later this year. He's everything I want, except that he's morbidly obese. At least 350 pounds, probably more. I"m normal weight.

He had a very traumatic childhood which probably would have driven many to suicide - so I understand why he eats. We have been dating for quite a while and at the beginning he seemed to be making efforts to diet, but isn't anymore. He is very busy with his work and doesn't really do anything healthy. I'm pretty health-oriented and would probably not date a person who smoked or drank or used drugs regularly.

Sometimes I get angry because he quit smoking for his ex-wife - but I know that these things are apples and oranges since cigarettes aren't necessary for life, but a person can't give up food.

I have brought up my concerns several times about how scared I am that he will have a heart attack, stroke, develop cancer, etc. Since he's in his forties now, it seems to me that these are really legitimate possibilities. He hasn't responded with any kind of concrete actions and that frustrates me. We'll never have a normal sex life and probably will be hit with major medical bills at some point, maybe not too far off.

I can't imagine life without him, but I don't think an ultimatum would work and I don't know how to make him care about his health. Maybe this is just something that people have to live with?

Any thoughts appreciated! Thanks.

[/quote]

No guarantees! My husband was 6'1" and 165 lbs and still died at 45.

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