Reply to When did you realize you didn't like your mom (or dad)?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]Being a parent is the hardest job you'll ever do[/b], and it lasts a lifetime. I wish people here were more forgiving toward other humans, especially their parents.[/quote]

I hate that BS cliched line.  Being a firefighter is a hard job, but that doesn't excuse an individual firefighter if he causes people harm (especially intentionally) or if he slacks off or if he exploits the people he is supposed to protect.

I think people like to use that line as an excuse for being crappy people.  Being a parent is optional.  That's the thing.  It's a choice.   Children aren't possessions.  They are responsibilities, but no one is forced to have children or be a parent.  So if you make that choice, don't be a martyr.

Also, some people are toxic and they harm they do just continues.  You can forgive them but still cut them off so that you can be a functional human being.

I sincerely believe a lot of people have children because they want unconditional love and they want all of the Hallmark moments.  They think in terms of children being "theirs" and have a difficult time with the concept that they are separate, individual human beings.  Parents are guardians -- not owners.  The goal is to make your children eventually independent, autonomous, healthy human beings.  Your children don't owe you anything.  It isn't a contract that just by giving birth, no matter how horrible you are to your kids, that they owe you a lifetime of deference and should let you continue to exploit and mistreat them until you die.

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