Reply to What age for lip/eyebrow wax for DD

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[quote=Anonymous]Would anyone mind if I hijacked the thread a little? It seems like most folks are responding in some vein of "if it bothers her it's time to do something" vein, but then again, most of the examples are of the more extreme variety. My very blond daughter, who has slightly darker blond eyebrows, that are full and beautiful, is bugging me to go to an eyebrow waxer because she wants them insanely thin (she showed me examples online). I'm telling you, there is objectively nothing at all odd about her eyebrows. (I wish I had them!) And also, it's not even like she's asking for a little "shaping." She's just got this warped sense of her beauty and what they look like and what she thinks she wants.  I'm not inclined to take her and I certainly am not interested in wasting my money helping to make her look ugly.  (Just FYI, if I am still losing this battle when she's 15/16, maybe I will tell her to go take her own money and do it and hope that she hates the results and never does it again. But at barely 12, I don't see why I have to do this for her.)  For now, I've emphasized how painful she's going to think it is (she's got the world's lowest pain threshhold).

In case it matters to anyone, I let her shave her armpits. And I would let her shave her legs if she wanted to. (Her leg hair is very light and so no one can really see it and she hasn't brought it up.)

But what I really want to ask about is pubic hair. Despite how blond she is everywhere else, her public hair is black. It's also... well... surprisingly well-developed. She hates it and wants it ALL removed.  It kind of happened out of the blue (puberty works fast!) and I'm guessing the quick change she sees in herself has something to do with why she hates it so much. But also... well... I wax completely and that is something she has been aware of for several years. So she wants to "look like me." She's expressed concerns about wearing a bathing suit. I have said that when summer comes and that concern is a reality, we can talk about her trimming the edges and how to keep up with that I've told her I don't feel comfortable with her removing it all. She says she doesn't like it and doesn't want [b]any [/b]of it and why can't she do it if I do it? Admittedly, one of my first thoughts is "my wax pass is very expensive and I have no intention of paying for that for you for the next X years" but honestly, she'd probably just offer up her allowance and the truth is... that's not the real reason. I just feel like it's inappropriate. I feel like it's somehow connected to sexualizing her. But am I just being old-fashioned??? For me, I didn't think about shaving down there until I became sexually active in college.  Clearly that's not why she wants it gone. She wants it off because she doesn't like it.  But I also feel ... I don't know, like the right thing to do, at least for now, is to try to get her to love herself and the way she looks and not reject something as normal as public hair and that when she's more of an adult, she can have any version of it she wants? The whole thing is mind-boggling. I just didn't think she's turn 12 and want this stuff. PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE ELSE IS STRUGGLING WITH THIS RIGHT NOW. [/quote]

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