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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 4 year old daughter recently shared that my MIL told her doing her last visit that she is supposed to tell her everything, everything about her and her brother. My dd expressed that she told her no. Because I know my MIL, I gathered she has been pumping my daughter for information relative to the private matters of our home in our absence. I don't want to jump the gun here. After all, I am getting this information from a preschooler. My MIL and I get along great. We have bumped heads in the past but it's never been something we can't get past. I however, fear that she may be unintentionally creating an uncomfortable dynamic with my dd.
Should I try to ask my dd more pressing questions about what specifically was asked? I didn't push the matter because I don't want to alert my daughter that something was wrong.
[b]Am I overreacting?[/b] My MIL has a tendency to do certain things when my FIL isn't present. This is something I can't see her saying with others around.  Also  during another recent visit my dd expressed to my Mil that she wasn't supposed to do something (that Mil is aware of) and MIL told my dd that she knows more than me and she allowed dd to do it. I appreciate having an involved grandparent but I fear she may not know her place.

I do realize that she could've been coming from a good place and I'm interpreting this all wrong. What are your thoughts?
[/quote]

Yes, very much so. What are you hiding?[/quote]

Now I know that she wasn't asking anything relative to our house. As far as hiding anything, [b]I think my husband and I are entitled to live our lives without worry that my MIL is having DD come back and report the inner workings of our lives.[/b] I don't think it's an unreasonable expectation. [/quote]

She's FOUR. You expect her to not go tell grandma when you say "Grandma is wrong and you are right"? You expect her to not repeat things she hears around your house? I think your expectations of a four year old understanding what can and can't be told are a bit strange.

She's supposed to tell you everything that happened at grandma's, but she's not supposed to tell anything that happens at home to grandma?

[/quote]

Op here, if you read the thread in its entirety you would see that in don't that. I never say anything negative about MIL to dd or around dd. I'm not crazy. I understand that dd would go and repeat it not just to inlaws but anyone willing to listen. What I'm referring to is having MiL fishing around for info about what goes on in my house etc. questions like....what did mommy say about such and such an so and so, or do Mommy and dad argue? 
Just general questions to satiate her own desire to know any and everything. [/quote]

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