Reply to Silly things I worried about: infertility edition

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hmmm, perhaps I'm heartless, but "breaks my heart" seems a bit strong.  I'm sorry some women are too scared/intimidated/something of IVF to do it, but my broken heart is reserved more for women who can't afford it or who try it and fail.  [/quote]

I think it's incredibly sad when women turn down IVF when it's really not that awful.  It's what...9-10 days of shots, one appointment where you're out under and another one that's similar to an annual visit.  Being so scared of the medication and procedures that you choose not to have kids is sad.  [/quote]

You people are ridiculously heartless and lack empathy.  Perhaps IVF wasn't so bad for you, but I know women for whom it was a horrible experience.  Why do you assume your experience is the only experience?  And worse, there are some women who went through multiple rounds of IVF, had negative physical consequences, and still never ended up pregnant.

Not to mention, some people have moral or religious objections to IVF.  Anyone on here who is against abortion but mocks women who have a moral objection to IVF is a hypocrite.

And then there are some for whom IVF wouldn't solve the problem anyhow (i.e., they don't have a problem getting pregnant).  Not everyone can afford donor eggs, by the way -- especially on top of costs associated with IVF and then all of the daycare costs once the baby arrives.

I find it incredibly sad when women talk about empathy and then in the same post show a complete lack of empathy by judging other women who make different choices in the face of heartbreaking circumstances.

And you know what?  This thread shouldn't be in infertility support because it seems to assume that everyone on the infertility forum eventually ends up with a baby.  That's not the reality.

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I am not this pp but I agree completely and even made similar comments on another thread. I got trashed too, pp. Not sure what that's about. I guess we're in good company though.[/quote]

Thank you.  I'm the PP you are responding to.  People don't like that someone is disagreeing with their condescending narrative.   I have a close relative who went through 3 rounds of IVF.  No success.  They went into debt, the IVF was actually difficult for her, and it was hard on her marriage.  And they never ended up with a baby.   She regrets doing IVF and feels that her doctors were not honest with her about her chances of success (complicated story).  [/quote]

PP here. I know. I have friends who have been through multiple cycles of IVF, IVF + DE, and DE+surrogacy only to wind up with nothing. They also feel duped. Strongly. We have other friends who decided treatment just wasn't for them, even when they were ostensibly good candidates. They decided acceptance was the better path. We had failed transfer after failed transfer after failed transfer... for years and years. Surrogacy finally worked, but I would not wish what we went through on anyone.[b] It's certainly NOT something I would put in the category of "no big deal," [/b]and I don't understand why this poster - pretty sure it's the same one or two - has such a hard time with folks who express perfectly legitimate reservations about starting down this road. Chalk it up to inexperience, I guess.   [/quote]

My own experience was "no big deal."  IVF worked for me.  and looking back, the 9-10 days of meds and two procedures were truly no big deal.  Leading up to IVF I was a nervous wreck and thought it would be horrible.  It wasn't.  I could definitely tolerate a few rounds of IVF.  That being said - I realize IVF doesn't work for everyone.  I'm simply talking about my own experience.  For you it was a big deal.  For me, it was not and I'm glad I did it so i could get pregnant.  [/quote]

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