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[quote=Anonymous]My now-ex pressured me with the threat of divorce if I didn't relent and have our first child. We'd planned on having kids eventually but I was not yet ready. I gave in and he promptly made me the default parent and forced me to tank my career so he had free rein to pursue his.

I was the more talented and successful one but he used my pregnancy and breast feeding to paint me into the default parent corner. I eventually left.

After all he did, he actually ended up sucking at his job (big law) and being laid off in the big law purge a few years back.

Now i have 70/30 custody and do 100% of the doctors and dentist visits, organizing activities, and emotional support for our child. We have a great relationship and I'll never tell her that her origin story is so bleak. As she grows up she complains more and more about how her dad s always trying to make her do what he wants and "fox" what he sees as her flaws and misguided priorities. I tell her as calmly as I can that I understand and that sometimes it is hard for him to see other people's perspectives but she shouldn't take it personally.

I'm going to do my best to raise her to know she's in charge of her life.

I have always been a good parent but should not have had it forced on me. My life never recovered from having a child with a major asshole.

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