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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP back, I got up this morning and was surprised this conversation was still going, but even moreso at these replies. I wasn't looking for a federal indictment of they guy's behavior...but these responses re: my text to him are bizarre. The guy cancels 2 days in advance, then tries to reschedule the night before, then wants to state what defines last minute. This isn't the end of the world, I can just move on. But because I said I'd reach out when my schedule "opens up", I was "cold", a "PITA", and "needlessly rude"?

People, some of us actually mean what we say. I meant just that, that I'd reach out at a later date. I guess you can assign an opposite meaning if you want, but that's not on me. I'm not passive aggressive and my comment wasn't either. And a man isn't entitled to my acceptance or gratitude because he tries to keep a date he's already cancelled. A polite  and respectful response? Sure. Otherwise we're just strangers. It's not that big a deal.

But I'm struck by the vitriol in these responses, that I should forget dating and "focus on raising my kid", and my favorite, "that's right, you're s single mom". I'm curious if there is a different standard of behavior for me, as a single parent dating, then him, as a single guy w/o kids? He's loosey-goosey with the schedule, which appears to be fine, but I say "I'll reach out, etc." and I should "leave that poor man alone?".

You know how many people out there in relationships are struggling right now? Are married but feel disconnected from their spouses? Or are single like me and are lonely, or happy, or somewhere in between? I'm no more or less deserving of love than anyone else. I'm not worried about dating...this was a chance encounter, otherwise yes, I focus on raising my kid and am pretty happy overall. Not being married doesn't give me anxiety (ask anyone who's been married before if they want to be married again...the overwhelming response is not "yes"). If I meet someone great, that's a different story. Otherwise we're doing fine. So to anyone on DCUM, married, single, looking...I hope your holiday is happy and peaceful.

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OP, I too am often surprised by how quickly people jump all over posters and make all sorts of assumptions about them.  I think there are basically two types of people who respond on DCUM: those that are able to see other viewpoints and offer advice without condemnation and those that project their own negative feelings and read what they want into every situation. I only keep reading because of the former. I've gotten plenty of great advice from people who respectfully disagree with me or have a viewpoint totally different from my own. When I post looking for advice and get responses from the latter that seem to totally miss the point or focus on vilifying me rather than simply disagreeing with me, I used to want to defend myself. It's hard not to when somebody is totally misconstruing what you say or making judgments about you based on a small snippet of a story. I eventually learned it wasn't worth it. Haters gonna hate.[/quote]

The majority on DCUM are, and I mean this sincerely, utter loons.  Loons with hangups about women (often women who are threatened by other, particularly confident, women), miserable lives, and antisocial personalities which leave them lonely and give them plenty of time to make deranged Dr. Phil diagnoses online for hours to various people.

It sucks, but you just have to disregard the losers and recognize them as what they are.  You can kind of tell who the well meaning, intelligent people are, and it's best to listen to them and literally ignore the rest.  
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