Reply to Is it rude to ask if friend plans to have kids?

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[quote=Anonymous]Clearly I'm the only voice of dissent but I don't think it's rude at all  - if it's a question asked of friends, and if it's only asked once. I get that if you are a couple struggle with infertility or if you have chosen not to have kids you are tired of random strangers/coworkers/etc. pestering you about kids. And that I totally agree is rude. I would never ask someone I didn't know well. But if people are really your close friends, it wouldn't be weird to say "are you guys thinking of having kids one day" if they say "no" then you say "cool" and leave it at that and don't ask again. Among our group of friends about half have struggled with infertility and all of them have shared this at some point, in one way or another and we've all had conversations about it. Another couple we know doesn't want to have kids - they've also said this. It's all fine. Given how much talk in your 20s and 30s is around marriage and kids I think it's weird it wouldn't come up naturally.

Also, some of my friends with infertility have shared that they feel like they are the only ones going through it and they wished that people talked more openly about their struggles and treatments, etc. Obviously everyone should share what they are comfortable with - so I'm not saying everyone has to talk about it - but maybe you could consider that some people might like to talk about it but feel it's stigmatized, etc.  We all probably know at least one person who's had infertility - it's not uncommon. [/quote]

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