Reply to Have your views on monogamy changed since you have been married?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I'm sure not all guys are dogs, but I no longer believe it's possible to separate the dogs from the non-dogs with 100 % accuracy.  Sometimes it is easy to spot a dog.  But, there are others who are wolves in sheep's clothing.  Everyone who was friends with and worked with my husband told me he was "a good guy" while we are dating and would have been as shocked to learn about the cheating, as I was.  I know now to scrutinize people's behavior and ignore their words.  But, I also know that some people are just very, very good liars, and it is never possible to tell for sure that your partner is being truthful.  The best you can do is run away quickly when these damaged people finally do something that reveals their true character.  [/quote]

Yes, that's the problem.  I trust very few people, especially men.  A lot of guys hit on me at work and sometimes I actually think they are good guys. Then I find out they have girlfriends and although I'm not romantically interested in them, it really grosses me out and makes me think most men are players.  Even the ugly ones.  It makes me want to get married less and less. Thankfully, I have a great job so I can take care of myself.  I also don't care if I don't have kids, so that also takes some pressure off.  [/quote]

The bottom line is this.  All men want to sleep with women other than their wife.  All of them.  The urge to do so can be a passing thought or an overwhelming compulsion and it ebbs and flows (probably with testosterone levels).  The old saying that men are as faithful as their options is largely true.

There are three types of men.  Chronic cheaters whose marital vows mean nothing.  Men who can keep a monogamous committment no matter the temptation.  And men who are good, and try to be good, but will screw up a time or two over the course of a long marriage.  The majority of men fall into the last column.  Always have, always will.  As long as we demand a zero tolerance for extramarital sex, there will forever be women claiming to be blindsided by what they thought was their perfect man who was caught cheating.  Lawyers, therapists will profit accordingly.[/quote]

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