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[quote=Anonymous]I am new to this thread, and I read some of the responses, but not all 20 pages, tbh.

I am a 37-year-old married mother of 2 (elementary-aged kids).  We were too young when we got married.  We are coming up on 15 years of marriage, and like many others, I do 90% of the physical and emotional labor of the household and child-rearing labor.  I have always had to prioritize my family, while he has prioritized his work (while also working worse hours for worse pay/benefits our entire marriage).

I have ADHD/anxiety/mild depression, and my DH has anxiety/depression.  Our children are both neurodivergent and have pretty intense needs.  The amount of work on my shoulders, the lack of support, and the utter lack of follow-through has burnt me out.

There are times when my DH *tries* but his incredible unpredictability, lack of follow-through, and inability to initiate basically any tasks without being directly prompted is EXHAUSTING.  I am not good at organizing, but I have to organize, plan, and re-organize for my entire family, while also brainstorming all of the academic, social, emotional supports, activities, services, meds/medical follow-ups, and all communication with providers/teachers, relatives, all family activity planning, holiday/gift/activities/vacations, haircuts/dentist appointments, college savings, most bills, all budgeting - despite my husband not being open about what he is spending money on, and being "punished" passive-aggressively when I take breaks by having our children be almost neglected and the house trashed.....it has gotten to me and I also work a full-time job that allows me to work more closely around the kids schedule, but is a high-stress job and is a helping profession.  I have had hundreds of conversations with my husband, cried countless times, tried tons of approaches to get him to step up, and he'll listen, but completely emotional shut down and sometimes apologizes but never makes a real plan for how he will address these issues and no change ever occurs.  He'll occasionally write things on a to-do list and then he'll try to write sweet notes to me, thanking me for all my work and telling me how much he loves me, but love without action.....it's exhausting.  I had a nervous breakdown earlier this winter and am working very hard to recover with therapy, psychiatry, working out, and I am literally doing "less".  I'm not sure if I am "quiet quitting", but I'm at the point where I simply cannot continue to center him in my life and I need to focus on my own well-being before it kills me and then go from there.  My kids need me more than anyone else and so whatever that looks like, I'm trying to heal.  I can't see myself staying with him forever like this.  He has also sabotaged our finances and MY credit and so I really have no way out right now :( I may have to quiet quit until I can leave. [/quote]

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