Reply to Sister in law told my elderly mother this is the last Christmas she’ll see their family

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[quote=Anonymous]I grew up in a situation similar to OP. We had an annual Thanksgiving with my dad’s parents, my dad’s brothers and their families.  It was nice when we were younger, but in our teen years it started to feel really awkward to be obligated to attend this event with people we see only once per year and were essentially strangers (other than our Granpda,
since Grandma died when I was 9). Ultimately, my mom and dad insisted on going until my grandpa passed away in his 90s.

After Grandpa died, we celebrated Thanksgiving at our house and it was amazing.  We had so much fun with my siblings and parents and adored this new tradition.  We felt comfortable and happy and loved doing the cooking instead of being a guest at someone’s house.  But then, a couple of years later, my mom got dementia and she couldn’t host.

All in all, we got less than 5 years as a family to celebrate Thanksgiving together between my grandpa’s death and my mom’s dementia.  I wish we had stopped going to Thanksgiving years earlier so we had more time with my immediate family.

OP, families change and change is hard. I’m going to do my best not to pressure my kids to do specific traditions and instead focus on trying to have regular get together with them that aren’t mandatory or structured around a holiday, but rather voluntary and lower pressure. [/quote]

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