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Reply to "Atheist bil won’t allow 3 year old nephew to receive a gift during holidays "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you are so concerned about Larlo - although a lot of energy here has been about how the adult grandmother feels, but if you are sooo concerned about how this child feels the best thing you can do is to provide a loving and accepting environment for his whole family. You can only control how YOU behave. So if Larlo gets upset you don’t say “mommy and daddy wouldn’t let us give you a gift” you provide a distraction. Take him to pet the dog or show him a magic trick. He’s only 3. It will pass. As he gets older his parents will explain things to him and his expectations will be different. Maybe he will be resentful but that’s not your problem. This child is a member of your family and your job is to love him and his parents in spite of your fundamental differences. You teach him about generosity of spirit and unconditional love. [/quote] Why is it wrong to be concerned about Larlo?[/quote] Literally no one said it was wrong to be concerned about Larlo - the OP seemed more concerned about her mother than Larlo frankly. [/quote] Op (me) is concerned for both. Larlo deserves a Christmas gift with his family. It won’t hurt anything. To the posters above who advised to distract Larlo during gift opening; that’s on his parents. They want larlo to live as they choose, they can deal with the ramifications of their choices. It’s their choice! They can deal. Honestly nothing is going to placate a child in this situation. [/quote] Sure sounds like [i]someone[/i] can’t be placated. [/quote] Yup OP doesn't care about anything but being right and making sure that BIL and sister know this. I didn't know Jesus but I'm sure he'd try to make sure the kid was as happy as he could make him regardless of the parents but obviously that part of the teaching is lost on OP. Let the kid be sad so the parents can see how wrong they are (secretly hopes the kid is super sad). [/quote] DP. So you’re advocating for everybody else, including all the other kids, having to sneak around with their gift-giving to placate Larlo’s parents? How is this a better solution?[/quote] No, I was saying that the OP could try to distract Larlo if he becomes unhappy. Of course they should do the gifts but the kind thing would be to try to ensure that you make your nephew feel ok IF he feels unhappy. Kid might be just fine. But OP is more interested in tut tutting at the bad parenting than trying to ensure her nephew has an ok day. Instead of being adults and saying “Sheesh this seems a little extreme but we love Linda, Larry and Larlo and we’ll do our best.” The OP has been champing at the bit for justification to give the kid a toy despite BOTH parents saying that goes against their values. They shouldn’t have to justify their values any more than anyone else does but OP and others think their religious beliefs supersede any other beliefs, even when they are held by people they profess to love. OP is more interested in being right than being happy. [/quote] No, I want Larlo to be happy.[/quote]
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