Reply to Do you wish you had your children younger

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[quote=Anonymous]This thread has 20 pages, and yet not one PP (that I've noticed; I didn't read everything super-carefully) has commented on what to me seems obvious: namely, that age isn't static/fixed--in other words, someone might be 28 with her first child, but 42 with her fourth.

When/where I grew up, for example, tons of women had children in their late 30s/early 40s, even mid-forties, and no one blinked an eye.  Certainly no one scorned them, or suggested that they not have these children, or felt superior to them, or reminded them of how "risky" it is to have children at that age, or mocked them for their older appearance, cattily saying that they looked like grandparents, or mocked/pitied them because they would be older/more tired/less present for grandchildren/what have you.  Why?  Because these children weren't the women's first child(ren).

And therein lies the rub: people don't skewer the woman having her third/fourth child at 38/40/42/what have you, because in reality it never was about the issues mentioned above: it's about scorning women who dared to wait until later to have their first child, for "selfish" reasons--i.e. about scorning the mythic evil career woman who was so busy chasing wordly success that she lost her chance at family happiness, or so the story goes.  If not that, then consistency/lack of hypocrisy would demand that the same PPs who are so vitriolic about older mothers, that they direct an equal amount of vitriol toward the Catholic/Mormon/evangelical/orthodox Jew etc. having her third or fourth child at a later age.  (But of course they don't.)

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