Anonymous
03/04/2012 23:13
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
"I'm guessing you either did not go to a school with family housing or never wandered over to that section of campus. "
Or didn't go to a school that had on site child care/nursery school that gave admission preference to students' kids.
Or didn't go to a school that had on site child care/nursery school that gave admission preference to students' kids.
Anonymous
03/04/2012 22:58
Subject: Re:Do you wish you had your children younger
22:33 again--no, not "oops" babies at all, regardless of perception. I knew lots of women growing up who simply had large families, and continued having children into late 30s-early 40s.
Anonymous
03/04/2012 22:49
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
What you describe is what commonly referred to as "oops" babies. Talking perception here.
Anonymous
03/04/2012 22:33
Subject: Re:Do you wish you had your children younger
This thread has 20 pages, and yet not one PP (that I've noticed; I didn't read everything super-carefully) has commented on what to me seems obvious: namely, that age isn't static/fixed--in other words, someone might be 28 with her first child, but 42 with her fourth.
When/where I grew up, for example, tons of women had children in their late 30s/early 40s, even mid-forties, and no one blinked an eye. Certainly no one scorned them, or suggested that they not have these children, or felt superior to them, or reminded them of how "risky" it is to have children at that age, or mocked them for their older appearance, cattily saying that they looked like grandparents, or mocked/pitied them because they would be older/more tired/less present for grandchildren/what have you. Why? Because these children weren't the women's first child(ren).
And therein lies the rub: people don't skewer the woman having her third/fourth child at 38/40/42/what have you, because in reality it never was about the issues mentioned above: it's about scorning women who dared to wait until later to have their first child, for "selfish" reasons--i.e. about scorning the mythic evil career woman who was so busy chasing wordly success that she lost her chance at family happiness, or so the story goes. If not that, then consistency/lack of hypocrisy would demand that the same PPs who are so vitriolic about older mothers, that they direct an equal amount of vitriol toward the Catholic/Mormon/evangelical/orthodox Jew etc. having her third or fourth child at a later age. (But of course they don't.)
When/where I grew up, for example, tons of women had children in their late 30s/early 40s, even mid-forties, and no one blinked an eye. Certainly no one scorned them, or suggested that they not have these children, or felt superior to them, or reminded them of how "risky" it is to have children at that age, or mocked them for their older appearance, cattily saying that they looked like grandparents, or mocked/pitied them because they would be older/more tired/less present for grandchildren/what have you. Why? Because these children weren't the women's first child(ren).
And therein lies the rub: people don't skewer the woman having her third/fourth child at 38/40/42/what have you, because in reality it never was about the issues mentioned above: it's about scorning women who dared to wait until later to have their first child, for "selfish" reasons--i.e. about scorning the mythic evil career woman who was so busy chasing wordly success that she lost her chance at family happiness, or so the story goes. If not that, then consistency/lack of hypocrisy would demand that the same PPs who are so vitriolic about older mothers, that they direct an equal amount of vitriol toward the Catholic/Mormon/evangelical/orthodox Jew etc. having her third or fourth child at a later age. (But of course they don't.)
Anonymous
03/04/2012 21:26
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Some of you do realize that 26 is the age of the average first time mother in America, right? DC/NY/LA women are not the norm. If seeing <30yo mother seems crazy, you likely live in a bubble.
Yeah and the average household income is what, $40K? No thanks, I'm shooting for above average and later than average first time parenting.
I'm sure your children will be happy for the inheritance you will leave them. I personally would prefer to leave them with beautiful memories of being with them and my grandchildren rather than money.
Luckily, family memories and $$$$ are not mutually exclusive. And I have no illusions that I can control if or when I have grandchildren.
Anonymous
03/03/2012 14:28
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Some of you do realize that 26 is the age of the average first time mother in America, right? DC/NY/LA women are not the norm. If seeing <30yo mother seems crazy, you likely live in a bubble.
Yeah and the average household income is what, $40K? No thanks, I'm shooting for above average and later than average first time parenting.
I'm sure your children will be happy for the inheritance you will leave them. I personally would prefer to leave them with beautiful memories of being with them and my grandchildren rather than money.
Anonymous
03/03/2012 14:25
Subject: Re:Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:" If I want to ramp it up, I'd prefer to do it later when I'm an empty nester. "
How old will you be? You don't worry about age discrimination? When I'm an empty nester, I'll be 55 and I want to be ramping down.
I'll be 43 when my youngest is 15. As my children get older, I'll steadily look to increase my income (if I find it necessary...we do pretty well now).
Anonymous
03/03/2012 10:07
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
All students do not live on campusAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Where did you go to school? That would have been very unusual at my college. In fact, I know of no one.
I'm guessing you either did not go to a school with family housing or never wandered over to that section of campus.
Anonymous
03/03/2012 10:06
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Some of you do realize that 26 is the age of the average first time mother in America, right? DC/NY/LA women are not the norm. If seeing <30yo mother seems crazy, you likely live in a bubble.
Yeah and the average household income is what, $40K? No thanks, I'm shooting for above average and later than average first time parenting.
Anonymous
03/03/2012 08:31
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is not that unusualAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Oh the stereotypesAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Have them when you are 20, out of the house when you are 40
Then go and travel the world
With what money? If you have kids at 20, when do you go beyond a high school education?
Did you know that being 40 does not mean you have gone beyond a high school education
When do people who start having kids at 20 go to college, generally?
Some college students are parents
Where did you go to school? That would have been very unusual at my college. In fact, I know of no one.
And you do realize that people do go to community college, no? Quite a few in this area go to NOVA and transfer to GMU. I'm sure there are community college/commuter transfers in MD as well that feed into UMD.
Anonymous
03/03/2012 08:29
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is not that unusualAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Oh the stereotypesAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Have them when you are 20, out of the house when you are 40
Then go and travel the world
With what money? If you have kids at 20, when do you go beyond a high school education?
Did you know that being 40 does not mean you have gone beyond a high school education
When do people who start having kids at 20 go to college, generally?
Some college students are parents
Where did you go to school? That would have been very unusual at my college. In fact, I know of no one.
I'm guessing you either did not go to a school with family housing or never wandered over to that section of campus.
Anonymous
03/03/2012 00:55
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Anonymous wrote:Yes, it is not that unusualAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Oh the stereotypesAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Have them when you are 20, out of the house when you are 40
Then go and travel the world
With what money? If you have kids at 20, when do you go beyond a high school education?
Did you know that being 40 does not mean you have gone beyond a high school education
When do people who start having kids at 20 go to college, generally?
Some college students are parents
Where did you go to school? That would have been very unusual at my college. In fact, I know of no one.
Anonymous
03/03/2012 00:10
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Some of you do realize that 26 is the age of the average first time mother in America, right? DC/NY/LA women are not the norm. If seeing <30yo mother seems crazy, you likely live in a bubble.
Anonymous
03/02/2012 16:35
Subject: Do you wish you had your children younger
Yes, it is not that unusualAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Oh the stereotypesAnonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Have them when you are 20, out of the house when you are 40
Then go and travel the world
With what money? If you have kids at 20, when do you go beyond a high school education?
Did you know that being 40 does not mean you have gone beyond a high school education
When do people who start having kids at 20 go to college, generally?
Some college students are parents
Anonymous
03/02/2012 15:43
Subject: Re:Do you wish you had your children younger
You say having kids young hasn't held back your career. If your career isn't considered successful because you make good money, is the definition of a successful career totally subjective?