Reply to WWYD? Struggling to help my devastated teen DD whose friends/teammates pranked her.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  I've had a chance to read the entire thread.  It has been so helpful, thank you all.  A couple of things:

First, thank you to everyone who suggested that the Honor Code might have been violated.  I would never have thought of that.  I've read and re-read the code and do think it applies here.  Now it is just a matter of whether I broach the school about it (still do not have permission to do so from DD).

Second, thank you all for the suggestions about contacting the unwitting sports star.  I would never have thought of that either.  I've looked up their Instagram feed to see whether there was a post along the lines of "Had a wonderful time meeting JV Team" but haven't seen anything yet.  I think it would be appropriate then to say something like, "Hey, just so you know, you didn't actually meet with JV Team but, rather, JV Team minus one member who was pranked out of getting to meet you.  Can you please change your post to reflect that you "Just met with A GROUP OF GIRLS who play X Sport because leaving post the way it is is hurtful to my DD."

Finally, many of you have wondered why my DD was targeted to begin with and not another girl on the team.  I've been wondering the same thing everyday for the last week.  DD was the girl that all the girls turned to for advice or help with homework.  DD always had an extra item if someone forgot theirs and would willingly give it up.  DD always smoothed over awkward situations in the locker room.  DD always was the peacemaker.  Since this is the first time (that I know of) that the Pranksters have pulled something like this, the best theory I have is that the two Pranksters decided that they wanted to pull a prank and consciously or perhaps unconsciously figured that my DD was the safest target, that she would be the most likely to say "yup, that was funny" and not get angry.  Also may have figured that other teammates have parents who are more vocal, more chummy with coach or are downright helicopter-ish and wouldn't stand for it.  That's the best I've got. We were really blindsided, as I've said before.
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Um no that’s not the reason. Teen girls’ brains don’t work this way. The queen bee girl wanted revenge on her for some reason. Probably a boy involved.[/quote]

The parents of these girls are total assholes.  I don't know them but sancationing, encouraging, and going along with this so-called prank was an asshole, mean girl move.  You cannot dress it up and put a bow on it.  If your daughter doesn't want to report them, that's her choice.  I was a very good athlete, made varsity and became a starter, beating out one of the co-captains.  The co-captain and one of her friends began targeting me and I stood up to them.  I directly called them out on their crap and did so in a way that they never tried anything for the rest of high school.  They knew that I was not going to stand for it.  Mean people suck and those parents and their kids are mean.  I would factually tell people what happened.  When people show you who they are believe them.  [/quote]

^I totally agree with this move--stand up for yourself and make sure people know you won't take their shit. Bullies get away with their behavior b/c weaker "friends" don't stand up to them b/c they don't want to get targeted. [/quote]

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