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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I and 30 and in a new relationship. I got my popcorn and settled into this thread. It's very interesting to me even though I have zero marriage experience. 
I'm a doter. I dote.  Is there any advice here, that can be applied to NEW relationships?  [/quote]

You have no idea who he will turn into and who you will turn into after you are married and in the grind. What happens is that life circumstances change. Kids, different jobs, new cities, etc. And neither of you have any idea what the other will become or as things change, what you and him regret losing or decide is missing.

I think it is a 50/50 chance any of us make a good choice in a life partner.

My advice is to not get married, not have kids and live a fullfilling life by yourself. That comes with other complications, but that is my advice.

My other advice is to have heart-to-heart talks with all your married friends and friends with kids. Most people married with kids don't give it to you straight. I walked into having kids thinking I knew how to have good relationships and that I would be a better parent than anyone I knew. Would I have had kids if I knew that it meant I got a literal 10 quiet minutes every few days? Make a journal of how many minutes you are alone now. None of us can really understand how literally 99% of that all goes away when we give birth. For at least 10 years if you get a challenging kid.

Not trying to derail the thread! Just commenting that there were signs he was going to react this way that I did not see. Some of them I couldn't see. I didn't understand until it was too late. Pick a better partner, and the criteria yoi have can be bullcrap. I passed up on a lot of guys who could have been better partners.[/quote]

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