Reply to Earning Well but Drowning in Debt...how to dig out?

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[quote=Anonymous]20:04, that's a good point.
 
It's a good lesson to anyone buying a house pre-kids to factor in the cost of kids.
I just had this conversation with my BIL and SIL (engaged and planning wedding, buying house) and they were floored when I advised them to subtract 2k/month from their current expenses to factor in kids (both planning to work FT and have kids in succession, we all realize that may well not work out but my advice was to err on the side of caution)
They are both educated professionals and it really hadnt occurred to them to look up the cost of daycares.

But I think the problem here is that OP didn't ever say "whoa we need to slow down" in terms of spending and is now in a lifestyle that is going to be really hard socially and emotionally to back away from. To realize you can't send your children to the best camps, sign them up for activities, eat whatever and wherever you want, trade down a car is for most of us what a job loss situation would look like and the difficulty in being stripped of your life as you thought it could be.
Especially when there is no layoff, no medical crisis here, just a lot of bad decisions that saving face is going to be difficult.

Anyone remember that Oprah show from about 10 years back with the government worker (FBI maybe?) and his wife who had to have a family and friends meeting to tell everyone how broke they really were?
The camera panned around the room at people's shocked faces.
This family lived near me so maybe that is what sticks out.
The wife went to Starbucks every single day and ordered breakfast for herself and the kids, only ate out/takeout, bought a piano the day before the crews came to film which was so bizarre since they signed up for this "we are on debt help us" show.
There really are people who just get caught up and can't get out on their own, it must be a terrible thing to have to face the truth.
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