Reply to Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?

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Reply to "Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One day that 14 year old - and the other "sports at all cost" 14 year olds will get married - and guess what - I bet nobody will think twice about blowing off their wedding(s). Because there's a great big difference between the all-me-all- the- time people and people that genuinely love and care about their family and friends.  And I know this is true because everybody blew off one of my sisters 3 kids weddings because he grew up to be an entitled pompous ass and so was his wife.  It was a packed house for the other two.  End of story.[/quote]

My guess is that he will have a huge wedding because he spend years fostering relationships with teammates. Long weekends in crappy hotels, trying to stay entertained between tournament games, sharing their Gatorade when their teammate forgot theirs.

He will have a hard time picking the best man since he has so many close friends.

They will all toast their friend who got cancer in high school and talk about the time the whole soccer team raised money for his recovery. They will dedicate a toast to him and his wife and 3 kids. At the wedding will be a coach or two that were mentors to him and helped him get his first job.

He will go onto to coach multiple sports teams and mentor many kids in his future... just for the love of it.

[/quote]

Yup.  All of my kids played sports and did other extracurriculars at least through HS (2 played in college) as did a lot of people in my extended family - their choice.  My kid's lifelong friends are the folks they met through their activities.  They person who wrote the most glowing recc letter for my oldest daughter's application to an elite research grad program was her HS swim coach.  When my mother died, EVERY single member of my DS' travel baseball team attended the funeral.  When my youngest DD had her out of town college music school audition, her HS director and her 3 best friends from band went with us on their own dime to support her.   I am not saying that these activities were more important than family, but there is no way I can minimize their impact on my kids.

Sports was never the be all and end all in our family but it has been a net positive experience for the extended family as a whole.  Everyone sees how being involved in these activities has helped our kids on so many fronts.  [b]My kids would go to the wedding [/b] and have a ball and that would always be a memory for them.  What will also be a memory is the time they played a championship game in front of 2000 people and 40 family members attended.  Or the time my oldest DD played in the select youth jazz band for the first time and 25 family members showed up. That mutual family support would be the reason my kids would gladly attend the wedding.  We support each other as an extended family.  We do not tell any of them that their chosen activity is insignificant or belittle them.    [/quote]

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