Reply to What is the most insulting thing someone has said to you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH told his ex-wife that a cat was a better mother and beyond an egg and a uterus, her contribution to their children was unremarkable.  He also told her that she should be thanking me for being willing to step up and become the mother the kids had always deserved.

All this about a week after we got custody of my stepkids.  She really is a terrible mother. She sees the kids an average of one time a year for two or three days.  The kids were 4 and 6 when we gained custody.  They are 21 and 18 now and have almost no relationship with their biological mother.  Still, those words haunt me because I know they had to devastate her.  [/quote]
and you feel good about being married to someone who would say this?[/quote]

I responded to this same thing earlier - It was a very, very long time ago.  She had been neglecting the kids and it was said right after he found out.  I think it is probably the most insulting thing I have ever heard anyone say.  I do "feel good" about being married to him because I understand why he said it.  Imagine how you would feel if you found out someone had been harming your children.  They were very little at the time - 4 and 6.  Remember, he was awarded legal and physical custody.  Judges very rarely award sole custody and it's even rarer for it to be given to a father.  Think a little bit about what that means.....

I do feel badly that she was hurt by it.   Despite the fact that it's true, it must have been a horrible thing to hear.[/quote]

I have no idea what the others are onto, but I would be EXTREMELY proud of your husband. Not only did he gain custody of his kids, he married a woman who became a mother to them and he recognized how wonderful you are. Personally, I don't care how their mother felt about hearing the truth; I think he was right to say it. Why? Because the children were being hurt and her feelings don't matter in this situation. You married a good man. A damn good man. And vice-versa. Thank you for being a mom, and not a step-mom. [/quote]

Thank you!  The kids were 4 and 6 when we got custody.  They are 18 and 21 now!  And they are just amazing kids!  I am the lucky one :)[/quote]

PP, my parents tried to kill me - literally, and brutally - and there's no question in my mind they would have blamed me for my demise if they had succeeded. They blame me for everything anyway. I still wouldn't even think such horrible words about them that your husband used to address the mother of his children, let alone say them. They did give birth to me, and something deep inside them prevented them from actually committing lethal acts. I have no problem conceding they're horrible people, even evil - but I'm not going to lower myself by describing them in such degrading terms as your husband used to describe the mother of his children. Vicious words like that - that's about the person who speaks them, not the person they're describing.[/quote]

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