Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH told his ex-wife that a cat was a better mother and beyond an egg and a uterus, her contribution to their children was unremarkable. He also told her that she should be thanking me for being willing to step up and become the mother the kids had always deserved.

All this about a week after we got custody of my stepkids. She really is a terrible mother. She sees the kids an average of one time a year for two or three days. The kids were 4 and 6 when we gained custody. They are 21 and 18 now and have almost no relationship with their biological mother. Still, those words haunt me because I know they had to devastate her.

and you feel good about being married to someone who would say this?

I responded to this same thing earlier - It was a very, very long time ago. She had been neglecting the kids and it was said right after he found out. I think it is probably the most insulting thing I have ever heard anyone say. I do "feel good" about being married to him because I understand why he said it. Imagine how you would feel if you found out someone had been harming your children. They were very little at the time - 4 and 6. Remember, he was awarded legal and physical custody. Judges very rarely award sole custody and it's even rarer for it to be given to a father. Think a little bit about what that means.....

I do feel badly that she was hurt by it. Despite the fact that it's true, it must have been a horrible thing to hear.

I have no idea what the others are onto, but I would be EXTREMELY proud of your husband. Not only did he gain custody of his kids, he married a woman who became a mother to them and he recognized how wonderful you are. Personally, I don't care how their mother felt about hearing the truth; I think he was right to say it. Why? Because the children were being hurt and her feelings don't matter in this situation. You married a good man. A damn good man. And vice-versa. Thank you for being a mom, and not a step-mom.

Thank you! The kids were 4 and 6 when we got custody. They are 18 and 21 now! And they are just amazing kids! I am the lucky one

Come on! You post about how insulting the comment was and how it still haunts you and how it must have hurt the bio mom, yet you get indignant because someone questions the character of the person who made the comment???
You were the one who emphasized how bad and haunting the comment was.
You should have added a disclaimer that the comment was made in the heat of moment and was totally out of character.
By the way, my DH had custody of his kid too before we married. Her mom had serious issues , he never said anything like what you posted.
My father was a drug addict when I was little... My mom never said anything like that ever...
So yea maybe you should have posted a disclaimer instead of acting surprised that people were calling out ur DH.
Just a thought !

Anonymous wrote:"I don't care what happens to you. You are no better than a common crack-whore." - my mom

"Oh, whatever, why don't you become a lesbian?" - my mom again when I told her that her dad had molested me. Later I found out he and grandma molested her too but she still sent me to live with them.

"You walk like a former prostitute." - a homeless guy on the street

Wtf! I have never done drugs or turned tricks.

Jesus, PP!

Did you find a good therapist? Your mom's an ass, and I won't touch your grandparents.

Homeless people, well . . . Living on the streets doesn't exactly keep you sane.

"She's a freak. She just does it for attention." The comment came from another DCUM poster because I happened to admit on this site that I believe in extended BF, position taken by WHO, among others.

"I don't care what happens to you. You are no better than a common crack-whore." - my mom

"Oh, whatever, why don't you become a lesbian?" - my mom again when I told her that her dad had molested me. Later I found out he and grandma molested her too but she still sent me to live with them.

"You walk like a former prostitute." - a homeless guy on the street

Wtf! I have never done drugs or turned tricks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Of course they let you in to <insert name of highly competitive engineering-focused college>. You're a girl. You could be a total idiot, and as long as you wore a skirt to the interview, you're in."
Spoken by a fellow (male) student, among others.
Riiiight. Having near-perfect math SAT, ACT and GPA, not to mention a national engineering award, had nothing to do with it. They accepted me - and gave me a merit scholarship - cause I wore a skirt (which I didn't, btw). Good to know I'm so highly valued as an engineer and as a person.

I laughed it off the first time, but it got pretty tiresome after hearing it about 20 times from different guys (including students, TAs, administrators, alumni, parents of high school friends, and anyone else you can think of).

20 times? there must be some truth to it then. No?

Jesus, you're an asshole.

No, there is no truth to it. It's just a field where there are a lot of smart guys who are not used to having their asses to them by a girl. They'll do whatever it takes to protect their fragile ego and the myth that they are the smartest person in the room. It's all they have going for them.

Come on. A couple of times and I get it. Classmates? I get it. If its coming from TAs, administrators, alumni....even parents of friends?!?! What are they "protecting"? It's clear as day that the problem lies with the OP of this string. 20 times and still blaming others? Now THAT'S ego!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH told his ex-wife that a cat was a better mother and beyond an egg and a uterus, her contribution to their children was unremarkable. He also told her that she should be thanking me for being willing to step up and become the mother the kids had always deserved.

PP, my parents tried to kill me - literally, and brutally - and there's no question in my mind they would have blamed me for my demise if they had succeeded. They blame me for everything anyway. I still wouldn't even think such horrible words about them that your husband used to address the mother of his children, let alone say them. They did give birth to me, and something deep inside them prevented them from actually committing lethal acts. I have no problem conceding they're horrible people, even evil - but I'm not going to lower myself by describing them in such degrading terms as your husband used to describe the mother of his children. Vicious words like that - that's about the person who speaks them, not the person they're describing.

Wait, so despite your parents' attempt to brutally murder you, you wouldn't "degrade" them by saying they were "unremarkable" parents, that they should thank some other people who were willing to be real parents to you, and that a cat is a better parent? All three things are obviously true. The "something deep inside" that kept them from killing you truly is unremarkable, since the instinct not to kill one's own children is something all non sociopaths have and take for granted. If you did get some better parents, and I hope you did, your bio parents really should have thanked them. And cats don't intentionally try to kill their kittens. You can get all high handed about "lowering" yourself, but sometimes it's okay to call it as you see it. You don't even know what the abuse was.

I think you still have issues. There's really no need to defend your would-be child-killing parents.

Also, I remember you from another thread, can you remind us of how your parents tried to kill you?

That I must not wash my hands after using the bathroom because I actually sit on a public toilet seat instead of squat over it.

Anonymous wrote:The most hurtful thing was my mom telling me I was being a bitch a couple times when I was little.

Straight up rudest thing was a guy trying to explain why he couldn't keep it up during a drunken hookup - "I normally sleep with 8 or 9's, and you're more a 5 or 6" okay buddy. You willingly went home with me...

Ha, that had nothing to do with your looks. That was an insecure douchebag trying to explain why his dick doesn't work. Ewww what a loser!! I hate him for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH told his ex-wife that a cat was a better mother and beyond an egg and a uterus, her contribution to their children was unremarkable. He also told her that she should be thanking me for being willing to step up and become the mother the kids had always deserved.

All this about a week after we got custody of my stepkids. She really is a terrible mother. She sees the kids an average of one time a year for two or three days. The kids were 4 and 6 when we gained custody. They are 21 and 18 now and have almost no relationship with their biological mother. Still, those words haunt me because I know they had to devastate her.

and you feel good about being married to someone who would say this?

I responded to this same thing earlier - It was a very, very long time ago. She had been neglecting the kids and it was said right after he found out. I think it is probably the most insulting thing I have ever heard anyone say. I do "feel good" about being married to him because I understand why he said it. Imagine how you would feel if you found out someone had been harming your children. They were very little at the time - 4 and 6. Remember, he was awarded legal and physical custody. Judges very rarely award sole custody and it's even rarer for it to be given to a father. Think a little bit about what that means.....

I do feel badly that she was hurt by it. Despite the fact that it's true, it must have been a horrible thing to hear.

I have no idea what the others are onto, but I would be EXTREMELY proud of your husband. Not only did he gain custody of his kids, he married a woman who became a mother to them and he recognized how wonderful you are. Personally, I don't care how their mother felt about hearing the truth; I think he was right to say it. Why? Because the children were being hurt and her feelings don't matter in this situation. You married a good man. A damn good man. And vice-versa. Thank you for being a mom, and not a step-mom.

Thank you! The kids were 4 and 6 when we got custody. They are 18 and 21 now! And they are just amazing kids! I am the lucky one

PP, my parents tried to kill me - literally, and brutally - and there's no question in my mind they would have blamed me for my demise if they had succeeded. They blame me for everything anyway. I still wouldn't even think such horrible words about them that your husband used to address the mother of his children, let alone say them. They did give birth to me, and something deep inside them prevented them from actually committing lethal acts. I have no problem conceding they're horrible people, even evil - but I'm not going to lower myself by describing them in such degrading terms as your husband used to describe the mother of his children. Vicious words like that - that's about the person who speaks them, not the person they're describing.

When my mother and I are out together, people frequently ask if we're sisters. I used to find it insulting (when I was 20 and she was 50), but it doesn't bother me anymore. I got half of my genes from her, so I just assume that I'll look like her when I'm 50- and that will be a good thing!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I were sitting in a restaurant one night and these two drunk losers were sitting at the table next to us. Midway through the meal one guy leaned over and tapped me on the shoulder and said, "you're about, what, 135?" And then they both laughed hysterically. I was a size 8-10 at the time, which I thought was just fine, but this really gutted me. So humiliating.

and DH did what??????????????????????????

He couldn't hear the comment over all the noise (we were at Orleans House in Rosslyn) and had no idea what was going on. I rushed out and had tears in my eyes by the time we got to the car. I told him what happened and he ranted the whole way home about what d-bags they were. He had me laughing eventually but it didn't take the sting out of it much, to be honest.

Wow, I haven't thought about it in such detail in quite some time. Still makes me feel terrible.

I seriously have no idea what was so insulting about this. Weird, kinda rude, but I can't figure out what's insulting. So what if they were trying to guess your weight? Just how incredibly insecure are/were you?

Added to the fact that you still feel terrible about it, it's just really strange.

Wow, a lot of people have chimed in to say maybe I misinterpreted it. Maybe I did! But the guy said it in a very sarcastic way and they both just laughed in my face after the remark. My interpretation was that they very clearly knew I weighed more than 135 (i was about 160, if it matters) and thought it was hilarious to shame me for being chubby.

That's because the way you wrote it, and the fact that you left out some detail (like the fact that you are chubby) didn't make it sound bad--or at least vague. If you were 160 and chubby, yes, they were clearly being jerks. I actually weigh around 135, so I would have been puzzled, and annoyed....hence not understanding what was so bad about it.

After returning from Thanksgiving get together, I used a new family photo as my desktop background. It was me and my two sons, my older brother, and my father, standing in front of the fireplace.

My co-worker sees the photo, and asks me, "Is that your Dad?"....(I nod yes)...."and your Granddad?"

For any stupid ex-wives out there , he thought my older brother was my Dad, and my Dad, my GrandDad...so he got the two-fer.

Now it's a family classic.

Anonymous wrote:After receiving my rejection letter from a top-10 law school, ex-DH "comforted" me by saying that he knew people graduated from that school and they were just much smarter than I.

Slanderous! Obviously, you survived well enough.

Anonymous wrote:This isn't *that* insulting, but I thought it was kind of funny, so I'll share.

I was meeting a new client for the first time. He had printed out my bio and photo from my firm's web page and upon seeing me in person said, "Wow, you're really photogenic."

lol

This isn't *that* insulting, but I thought it was kind of funny, so I'll share.

I was meeting a new client for the first time. He had printed out my bio and photo from my firm's web page and upon seeing me in person said, "Wow, you're really photogenic."