Reply to Do any SAHMs regret it because of financial reasons?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom used to have to ask my father for money to buy his birthday present.

I would never be reduced to needing someone (like a daddy) to support me. That does not feel like being an independent adult to me. That is just baked into my (female) DNA.[/quote]

You can be a SAHM (or SAHD) in a healthy relationship where that is not the case.  My husband's money is OUR money and always has been.  Just like if I made less than him (or I made more than him) our money was always pooled together jointly, we never kept separate "his and hers" bank accounts.  It works for us. 
Been SAHM for 20+ years, manage our finances and never felt as if I was slighted for "not having an income"[/quote]

This is totally me, too!  It is our money, I agree. I loved being a SAHM and now I am an empty nester and was very happy to spend those years with my DC's[/quote]

Same. Also, when we had two incomes (and mine was higher), we lived off of the lower one, prioritized good insurance and solid savings, and made sure everything is set up for a seamless transition should one of us die (joint names on all accounts, utilities, house, etc.). I manage all the finances, taxes, and accounts.

I appreciate the worry. It was not an easy choice to make for me, nor did we take it lightly.

The main reason I have seen women suffer in divorce is the inability to pay for an attorney because the spouse acted illegally (emptied out accounts and stole all assets, changed the locks, etc), but they didn't have liquid assets to fight it, due to the theft. So I suppose there is another thing you could do to mitigate that risk (besides not marrying a narcissistic arsehole) if you are really concerned and have no other safety net: agree to maintain an individual account (liquid, growth, automatic deposits) for the nonworking spouse that the other cannot access (with a third party as death beneficiary - your parents or maybe even the kids) to be used for attorney fees should things go south. When that "insurance policy" is no longer needed, you will have a nice little nest egg to use for a splurge 50th wedding anniversary trip. You could also try to find an individual legal insurance polity.[/quote]

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