Reply to How do you stay married to an ASD HFA Aspergers husband?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
DP here.  How does one deal with rumination, in particular, by a spouse? [/quote]

A lot of different DSM diagnoses involve rumination. Anxiety, OCD, depression. So it depends. If the ruminating is “ego dystonic” and they are self aware (like OCD) you probably have a different approach than a depressed person stuck in a negative thought spiral but not seeing the thoughts. [/quote]

Def do not see any ruminating by our Asperger family members.

If anything it’s scary how easily they hit the Reset button after having a blow up or offending someone. They sleep like a baby, wake up like nothing happened, and ignore the elephant in the room.

My speeders spouse definitely doesn’t “fight fair.” In fact he typically deflects, blames others, makes excuses, lies, and would rather start a side argument than resolve a small or large conflict. That’s quite damaging to trust and what’s left of the relationship. It’s not ruminating but he’ll bring up one-offs from long ago to try to “prove” he didn’t do something. Or it doesn’t matter (to him very little matters.). [/quote]

Same. I think some people tend to over focus and ruminate and others tend to under focus and just live by impulse day to day. My ex also had adhd, so it was a combination of ADHD and autism among other issues. The adhd part was probably the lack of executive function like the time blindness. The autism part was related to the social issues.[/quote]

Who diagnosed him?[/quote]

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