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Reply to "What is with DCUM women and "mental loads?""
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think many of the posters in this thread are doing a poor job of describing mental load. I don’t consider doing a Christmas card or finding a pediatrician mental load. On the contrary, I love tasks like that because they can be written down and delegated between partners. Great. That’s not the mental load. It’s the making of the list. It’s suggesting to your partner that you divy it up, it waking in the middle of the night to put something on the list. And so on. Too many people are talking about the bricks (tasks) but mental load is the mortar (all the work that gets those bricks in place). Anyway, it’s not a DCUM phenomenon. It’s been around a long time but was popularized by a French comic named Emma who created the art at this link and published a graphic non-fiction book called The Mental Load. And it’s very specific to married couples, because it’s about allocation of responsibilities. Do a single parent household doesn’t really apply— without a partner, allocation of responsibilities doesn’t need to occur, beyond outsourcing, because you know who will handle things. And you can unilaterally decide not to care about something (like holiday cards) and then literally never think about it again. Anyway, here’s the gist: https://amp.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/26/gender-wars-household-chores-comic[/quote] In what other circumstance is one person’s obsessive thinking the fault of another? This is like saying it’s a woman’s fault her stalker is obsessed with her.[/quote]
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