Reply to Does a blended family actually work?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m sure there must be some family out there where it worked. The only one I know of was when the mom had one child from her first marriage and dad was not in the picture. Mom married her 2nd husband and they had one child when the first child was about 10. They seemed to do OK, but note-the first child was not going back and forth for visitation, and the new husband did not have kids of his own. So this situation was much simpler than others.

I have never seen it go well when both partners already came into the marriage with children. The divorce rate for that configuration is 70%, so......[/quote]

Do you think it is better or easier when only one partner has kids and the other does not want to have her own biological kids?[/quote]

I’m the PP. I think that’s probably the ideal scenario because it’s the least complicated. A lot of the problems people are citing arise just from the complexity of navigating family systems with two or three sets of siblings (bio, half bio, step) and half a dozen parents and all the corresponding households and schedules.

What I would recommend to the step parent in this scenario would be to let the bio parents do all of the “parenting”. The step parent can look for ways to connect with the stepchild and meet them where they are. Over time maybe goodwill and a bond will develop, maybe not. And make sure you support your spouse spending time with their child one on one, at least some of the time. I would aim for every visit should include at least some one on one time with the kid and parent. If the kid is with you full time, I think at least once a week the parent and kid should have a one on one outing or evening or afternoon in the house without new spouse there.[/quote]

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