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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Okay OP and others, I have one more question about this approach. How do you not get mad at him? Let's say you feel like you do more and he's lazy. How are you able to just let things go and not feel resentful?[/quote]

I rarely ever get mad like that, I just don't. If he doesn't think mowing the lawn is a priority, I do it when I DO think it is a priority, or pay somebody to do it. But, my DH isn't lazy. If you think of what he does as an extra, a bonus, the side dollop of whipped cream next to your lovely cake of life, well, you get to enjoy that whipped cream. But I don't count on him to do more around the house because I am the one who cares about it. I care if the floors are clean? I wash them. I care if the cars are washed? I wash them. If I care that the children wash their faces before they leave the house? I ask them to wash them. Because if DH doesn't care about it, he just doesn't. And "forcing" him to do it ... not a good strategy.[/quote]

He SHOULD care about that stuff. He would if you were truly 50/50 partners. You are lowering your standards and settling for something second rate. I don't know why you would do that let alone advise someone else to. Bad idea.[/quote]

+ 1

New Poster here. I agree. If it matters to you, it should matter to him. It's really that simple. The fact that it doesn't shows disrespect to you. If he truly cared about you, he wouldn't want you to run yourself ragged doing all this work for the family and house, he would *want* to help you in order to ease your burden[b]. I really do not understand this thread. I'm getting the sense that there are a lot more "bad" marriages out there than I thought.[/b][/quote]

I think this is what it comes down to, ultimately. The women interjecting in here with their "I don't get it" or "I wouldn't put up with that" comments are not married to lazy, self involved jerks. So they really *don't* get it. They don't need to. They have husbands who either do all this stuff on their own without having to be asked or do it as soon as they are asked, no problem.[b] If that is you, just be glad you don't get it. You're lucky you don't.[/quote][/b]

It's not "luck" not to marry or stay with a completely selfish man-baby. That is a CHOICE.[/quote]

No, it is luck that some men don't turn into lazy, selfish assholes after getting married and/or having kids. Most of us don'y know how we are going to change.

The choice is whether or not to find a way to deal with the situation we got ourselves into or to get a divorce and put ourselves, kids, livong situation amd finances through hell. If this line of thinking does not lead to peace and stability for my family, then we will get a divorce.[/quote]

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