Reply to Came home to find three kids in my playroom drinking beer. Furious and scared

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, consider yourself lucky they were caught red-handed; that’s truly a gift. We had a similar situation when my son was in middle school. It led to a meeting with all the parents, where we agreed the goal wasn’t to assign blame but to get the full story and align as a village. The kids stayed home that day; and let’s just say, they were sweating lol

In the end, it was a productive conversation. After a three-week grounding, our motto became “trust but verify”; we always checked with other parents to confirm an adult was in the house. Did they try to push boundaries again in high school? Of course. But they also learned that if a friend was in trouble, they should tell a trusted adult right away.

Talking openly with teens is essential. Not to be confused with lecturing! My brother and I have shared stories with the cousins over dinner -  what not to do! Like a HS girl who tried gummies at Prom, she was so wrecked they had to call an ambulance. Or the kid who didn’t know he’s allergic to vodka. Watching some Netflix movies together to talk through dangers is also good- hey would you do that? Or what could they have done differently? Those are also good ways to spark convos.

According to the CDC, teens who feel they can talk to their parents are 40% less likely to engage in risky behaviors like alcohol, substance use or unsafe sex. And nearly 60% of teens say parents are the biggest influence on their decision-making—more than friends, media, or teachers.

Risky behavior is part of adolescence. What matters most is that they know they can come to you; even if they’re scared of getting in trouble. That’s what keeps them safe.

It sounds like you were naive up until now, it’s a wake up call, be vigilant but don’t be draconian. I don’t know who all these parents are that think that the only solution is to lock up the alcohol seriously if it’s not at your house it will be at somebody else’s place and it’s so easy for them to get access whether at a party or through older kids who have fake IDs l. Yes do lock up the guns while you’re at it, for crist sake start these conversations.

Good luck ! [/quote]

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