Reply to What should college dc be told about our divorce? DH is cheating and leaving to pursue a relationship with his mistress.

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Reply to "What should college dc be told about our divorce? DH is cheating and leaving to pursue a relationship with his mistress."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, this is a sad and dark phase and I wish I could give you a warm hug. It is also telling that while you were here trying to figure out what would be best for DS, DH just upped and shared the news.

You will probably be spinning about how this person could be so callous, cruel, thoughtless towards you, your past, and the end of a long life together. I was there 2 years ago and it was the pits.

I only posted to let you know that it will be hard and slow but you will get back your own power and self-esteem bit by bit. You are already showing that even in your deepest grief you are thinking as a mother and I am glad for your son that you are. He will need that.

Please take care. Please surround yourself with people who do value and cherish you and are there for you. I wish you all the best. Thanks to the PP above who is 7 years out, gave me hope too.[/quote]

Your virtual hug means more than you know! Thank you for your words. They mean a lot. Ironically I have been moving into a better mental space over the course of the last year and confronting myself about some very major areas of my life that need work. It's giving me a lot of strength right now. This was not the narrative I was writing in my head for how things could be. I had hoped that by working on myself I could then work on my relationship with dh but I couldn't focus on that until I started owning my own deep and serious issues. So here I am.  I'm the only person who hasn't been absolutely blindsided by dh's infidelity and wish to divorce. DC says he isn't totally surprised but had hoped things were going to get better between me and dh. "Mom you just seem so much better and happier lately. It seemed like you and Dad were getting along again." It's actually been a year of working to repair my self-esteem and stop raging at the world. I think this work on myself probably scared dh on some level so he took the opportunity to cut and run. I can't control him, and maybe some day he'll do some work on himself. I don't want ds to hate him or take sides. I'm a mom and even if my kid is now a young adult, the parenting isn't going to stop. It's a crappy situation right now but people like you, oh internet stranger, are hugely helpful. Thank you.[/quote]

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