Reply to Would you confront your husband/wife's Emotional Affair lover?

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[quote=Anonymous]The number #1 most effective way to end an affair, that you know is happening, is to contact [u]the other betrayed spouse[/u]. If you can call them at work or email them, start with that. Share the emails and phone records or skype conversations that you know about. They will want the proof, and deserve to have it. If both betrayed spouses are aware of it, the affair will end. Affairs thrive on secrecy, and once they are "outed" then you will have a chance to figure out what you want to do. Marriage counseling will not be effective if the affair is ongoing. The definition of "ongoing" is any contact at all between the two people. Stay your ground, contact the other spouse, insist on "no contact" between the people in an affair, and go to counseling if you can. The counseling may help you prepare for a better marriage, or it may help you see other options. Your choice.

Do not bother to contact the affair lover. They will deny and will simply call you "crazy." You are not crazy.

Do not try to unilaterally improve everything at home. All of the dishes you wash, chores you complete, sex, etc. will not end the affair. It is not about you.

An emotional affair is an affair. The trust is broken. 
[/quote]

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