Reply to Parents- nix these behaviors in your kids before they go to college

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dear Prof,

I have been working on these and other skills for years with my ADHD/ASD kid.

He will mess up, despite being explicitly taught these things. He's in contact with the disability office and has already asked you for his extended time.

He had high stats and is an academic, intellectual person, which is why your place of employment accepted him. Sorry, but he's always going to be an absent-minded professor type, and his brain is somewhere in the vicinity of Pluto most of the time.

And you know who it hurts most? Not you. HIM. He is destined to go through life with ADHD and ASD and all his social quirks. You've only got to suffer him for your class. He has to suffer himself for life.

Best regards,

Mom.[/quote]
+1

But minus ASD[/quote]
The prof isn't complaining because they have to suffer your kid.  They are letting you know that all the money you spend on their education isn't worth it if they are going to shoot themselves in the foot.  Wait a year, go to community college, let your ADHD/ASD kids get another year of executive function development/parenting if you really think they can't take notes, shower etc. in college.  They are going to needlessly wreck their reputation.[/quote]
NP here.  I thought college admissions was more competitive than ever before.  This generation comes in with more AP classes than ever, club sport and extracurriculars that surpass what most of the last generation did.  If colleges have their pick of applicants, why are these kids with self-management and communication problems getting in?  [/quote]

Selective colleges are more competitive than ever.  Less selective colleges are not.  But regardless, some kids with these issues get in because their UMC parents often carried them through HS with lots of supports and didn't adequately think through how they would handle living independently. They made getting into college the primary goal so kids didn't ever have to deal with failure.  The exclusive emphasis on academics and college application fodder also made some of the basics like chores, working an after-school job where kids used to learn these things go by the wayside.  Social media + pandemic may have cost some f2f social skills.  It can be hard for an admissions team to discern these gaps.  Note, as many profs/others have said, it's usually not the SN kids who are the biggest issues, because profs get notices from the disability office about that and the students are taught to self-advocate/learn strategies.  It's the kids who have never failed because they never really did things on their own who often are clueless in college and think their behavior is just fine.  My response to these specific parents' post was really -- if you really  don't think your kid with a disability is ready to handle these kinds of challenges in college, wait and support them until they are. One more year can do a lot for kids with executive function disorders and community college or a gap year that focused on building work habits/social skills might make their college experience more valuable.[/quote]

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