Reply to I think I’m going to have to contact my husband’s affair partner

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ll chime in, because OP I don’t want you to get hurt. These things may not go the way you hope they will. I was the OW when I was in my mid 20s. (I’m a very different person now, so please don’t judge).

I broke up with the guy when his wife found out. She confronted me about a month later. I told her point blank “your husband told me that I gave him the single best sexual experience of his life. What do you imagine we did together?” She started to tear up and just walked away. Looking back on it, I feel horrible for what I did. So just please be careful OP. A confrontation may not go the way you want. [/quote]

She was probably shocked and saddened and her husband’s horrible taste in ap, not aghast at your weird sexual dominance display, fyi. [/quote]

Exactly.  And, btw, men always say that.  My husband and I didn’t leave the bed except to get water and whatever was in the cabinets for 3 days.  We were insane. He could go several (4 times on our wedding night) times a night.  There’s nothing we haven’t done in 20 years.

But, hey, a new body is just that: variety.  A guy will always go on about that was the best blah blah blah.  Fwiw, the only thing the AP said to me is “I was always so jealous of you”.  [/quote]

Yeah that would be a lie to make you feel better. Not sure why someone would be jealous of someone whose husband cheats on them.  Nice that you had sex multiple x a night when you first met though. [/quote]

Still did during the affair and still can do it even now. Sex life was always very good.  He was a mess briefly in midlife- good friend died, dissatisfied with himself, and drinking too much. And, no, she wasn’t the type to say something to be nice. [b]She had a mean steak and was angry at him for “using her” and treated her like a prostitute (her words). She was married too- she just wanted it to be with my husband, be her exit.[/b][/quote]

I think this is common, and that [b]APs want to believe that they are "different" or "better" than the wife[/b] - when in fact, they will never be, because of all they do not have. Women need to know a man is not a plan, if their own mother did not love them enough to tell them so. [/quote]

NP. I think the roots of the bold (with which I agree) are--for some women, at least--in the "soulmate" fantasy. I see posts on DCUM with women wondering if they should wait for a soulmate, or thinking they've found their soulmate, or asking if they should leave their BF or DH because it doesn't feel like he's their true soulmate, etc. etc. For women who have that inclination, the craving for a totally mythical, perfectly matched soulmate, it would be easy to fall into being an AP to a man who made them feel he was The One.

I'm [u]not[/u] saying this is the case for [u]all[/u] APs by any means. Just noting that when I read posts about women wanting soulmates, feeling dissatisfaction that's nebulous and not specific, etc., I get a feeling they might easily end up justifying to themselves that they are not merely APs or OWs at all--they are true romantics who simply must be with their soulmates, even if those men are already married or in relationships. [/quote]

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