Reply to Making SAHM get job to pay for private school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Newsflash, kids over 4 or 5 simply don’t need that much. Most working couples I know just handle it. Trade off drop offs and pick ups. DH cooks and DW does the laundry. It’s not the huge deal that people are making it out to be! How would anyone function if you HAVE to have a SAHP at home? Come on now. [b]Weekends and after hours — unless you both work all the time, that’s not different for working and SAHPs.[/b]

There are simple things to outsource, you outsource those. And when you’re not at work you spend time with your kids and trade off a bit. This is not brain science. We live in an age of grocery delivery, automated orders for house supplies, and myriad accommodations at work and at school for working parents. Sure, it could be better. But it is not undoable. With extra income comes extra flexibility. I say this as a working woman who toughed it out in the early years and has more flexibility now.[/quote]
Lady, I think you might be delusional. Most people who earn $500K do work "all the time"! And while it doesn't sound like OP's DW is going to be taking on an all-consuming job, people re-entering the workforce need to work a lot more, even in less demanding jobs. OP hasn't opined yet as to whether he is willing to take on the extra work, but it seems doubtful he's totally willing to rush home from what's likely a demanding job and cook a meal everyday and spend his weekends grocery shopping.

OP, here's the thing. I can more or less promise you that you don't want to give up having a SAHW. Your posts are so self-centered (not even mentioning what you think is in your kids' best interest) that I find it hard to believe you are going to want to rush off to Target at 8pm the night before a project is due, because they forgot something that since you and your DW were at work all day that's the first time you were able to go. That's the kind of thing that happened when I was growing up with two WOH parents. You have it so easy right now, you have no idea. DH and I both work, and we have a FT nanny for our school-aged kids to handle a lot of household stuff (e.g. cooking, grocery shopping, kids' laundry, shuttling to activities, etc). We would be miserable otherwise.

As to ROI on education, it's hard to take what you're saying seriously because you've provided exactly zero information to suggest that you've attempted to understand what makes sense for your kids' situation. You've only talked about your own background and stated generalities, and you haven't even said whether you are in the same school district that you grew up in. If it matters, I'm private-school educated with elite, private undergrad and grad degrees. DH is public school educated with flagship public undergrad and grad degrees. We're in closely related fields, and he earns ~$1M while I earn ~$400K. I guess his ROI is higher, right? Except I work many fewer hours with a lot more job flexibility than he does. And while it's hard to prove a counter-factual, I do think that I can trace a direct line between the unique aspects of my education and my ability to land such a high-paying, flexible job. None of htis matters though. The specifics of your kids' schools, temperaments, abilities, and needs matter. My kids are in a special program in our local public, because right now that's the best option. But we have the ability to reconsider that at any point...as do you. It's really weird to die on the hill of proving a point about public vs. private education rather than actually examining what's the best option for your kids. It's all well-and-good to talk about how private school is a status symbol, but the reality is that a lot of people make sacrifices to send their kids to private...usually for a reason. Your unwillingness to even consider whether it's a sensible option for your family speaks volumes. You might be a high-earner, but maybe a stronger education could have led you to be a more critical thinker.[/quote]

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