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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have just verbalized what is stupid about this whole thread and kids discussing what they want to be - they are deciding what they want to be, not who they are and just "trying it out" like trying on clothes or something. That parents indulging this is beyond absurd.[/quote]

In almost every other facet of one's personality, it is expected that we will learn, grow, 'try on' different aspects of our identity. I think that gender identity actually is part of this constellation of personality traits. Even in a binary gender system, tweens & adolescents go through phases (from tomboy to girly girl; more makeup to less makeup, etc.). I do think this is a fundamental disagreement, which is why I'm not accepting or personalizing your characterization of my support of my kid as absurd. I just disagree with your premise that it's somehow dangerous for my child (who is now late teens & a legal adult) to explore their relationship to the world & their identity. In fact, I think it's evidence of my child's serious examination of the world. Do I think sometimes it's navel-gazing? Sure. Do I remember being a navel-gazer at that age? Absolutely. When I think to myself, 'What is the most important thing here?' I am able to distill that making sure my child knows I love them & support them is 100% the goal.

Fortunately, we don't have to agree. You can judge me or my child, but as a PP noted, thankfully we now have legal structures in place so you can keep your value judgments away from my chlid's ability to pursue their preferred identity.

To the PP with the 11 year old - one of the parents involved reacted essentially like you did when our 12yo came out as bi. Our child has noted over the years that they felt really unsupported when we did this, because  "You would never tell even a 5 year old who said 'I'm going to marry Prince Charming when I grow up'" that they should just resist labels & wait until they have sexual feelings to come out as straight. Sounds like you & your child are very close, and you are the type of supportive listener who connects with not only your child but their friends - just wanted to share our child's reax from age 12 (at the time, and today as they reflect in their late teens). [/quote]

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