Reply to Why he won't leave his wife for his mistress

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Yes but what’s worse? Is it to to have an affair and then divorce or just divorce before you have an affair? I’m not even talking about making an effort to communicate and work with therapists to make it work because most don’t seem to be interested in that genuinely.[/quote]

This is ridiculously naive.  Of course it's better to divorce without cheating and traumatizing your spouse and kids, not to mention potentially another family.[/quote]

The rationale is:  If I divorce first, I am divorced which I don't want.  if I cheat, maybe I get away with it, and maybe my sex life at home improves.  If I get caught, I may get divorced which is where I will end up anyway.  So no harm done trying the cheating route first, especially in a no fault state.[/quote]

And this explains why many people cheat. There is not much to lose if unhappy anyway. Divorce is not a solution that is easy. [b]If divorce could happen anyway, cheating can avoid it in some cases. [/b][/quote]\

High risk though. An amicable divorce with no cheating is less traumatic than even an intact marriage where the kids find out you are disprespecting your spouse and cheating. Much more contentious relationship played out on the day to day and kids aren't kids forever. They find out and you are forever tarnished in their eyes. [/quote]

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