Reply to Wife wants another child; I do not

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[quote=Anonymous]Op, it is not wrong of you to have changed her mind nor is it wrong of her not to have changed her mind. what you can't wrap your head around is why a theoretical second child is more important than your marriage because all you think about is you. And I think the answer for her is that she's taken a long, hard look at her marriage, and how you lied to her and betrayed her and even now cannot manage a scrap of empathy or understanding for her pov, and she's realized that the marriage is not really worth saving. You feel like she's forcing things with an ultimatum, but you, in your own way, tried to force things by pretending for 5 years you were on board with another kid--you told her to 'wait a few years' and then revisit etc, knowing that she wanted a second kid and you didn't but hoping the problem would go away. And now that it hasn't you are fixated on why she cannot be happy with what she has--well, she has a marriage to an emotionally dishonest man and only one kid, which is not what she wanted.

also, consider this--just as you can't go through having a second kid, she can't remain married to you knowing you deceived her for years and took away her chance for a second kid. both of those things poison a marriage.  If you had only been honest about it at least you could have worked through it in counseling. [/quote]

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