Reply to For women, having a great dad is like winning the lottery

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[quote=Anonymous]It's like that meme where they're like "He's such a good dad" whenever he does anything -- takes the kids to the park, packs their lunch, puts in a load of laundry.

Unfortunately, I'm one of those women who had a malignant narcissist dad (Yes, actually diagnosed) who took great pleasure in his cruelty towards us.  He was also an alcoholic.  He was almost completely indifferent to us except when he was being psychologically cruel and abusive.  I literally do not have a single happy memory of anything as simple as him taking us out for ice cream, going for a walk with us.  He used to brag about how he didn't know how old we were or when our birthdays were.  He made up a mean nickname for me when I was like five and used it instead of my actual name until the day that he died.  He was of course a pillar of the community and outside of the house everyone thought he was awesome.

Which is a roundabout way of saying that I could not for the life of me figure out why anyone would get married ever, and had absolutely no idea what one was supposed to look for in a prospective spouse.  My bar was so low.  If I could find someone who didn't call me by a mean nickname (my father's nickname for my mother was Fat.  That's what he called her.), and who didn't drink until he passed out every night, then to me that seemed like an okay guy.  I remember watching my girlfriends in college meet great guys and get engaged to them and feeling like I was so far behind everyone else in life.  Now I watch my daughters meet and marry great guys and I realize that it was easier for them because they had a dad that took them swimming and knew how old they were.  Simple things. [/quote]

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