Reply to “Really great man = average woman”

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Reply to "“Really great man = average woman”"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Who is fawning over the men - the other mothers at the bake sale? the receptionist at the doctor's office?

I haven't really seen men get fawned over by basic things but I guess in my circle, we don't really fawn over anyone.[/quote]

Some people now make a point of not fawning over the men, which is good. None of the families we are friends with would praise a man for doing basic parenting.

But to dismiss the fact that many people in society DO set the bar in the basement for fathers is just ignorant. Lots of women are dealing with ILs and even their own parents, for instance, who have incredibly misogynistic views about what mothers and fathers are supposed to do. If you don't have that experience, congratulations! Your parents and ILs were ahead of their time. But as someone who has been at extended family events and been told or expected to watch, feed, and tend to the children at all times while my DH is expected to sit and visit with people, I am directly impacted by this attitude. My DH doesn't indulge it and we have an egalitarian marriage. Which means that many of our relatives praise him constantly for... parenting while gossiping about me behind my back as "lazy" or "very fortunate" just because my husband doesn't sit around doing nothing while I cook and clean and take care of our kids.

I do also sometimes run into this attitude among peer parents. Again, not my friends or social circle, but sometimes at the kids' school, from teachers, or we'll encounter some very weirdly gendered expectations for parent contributions/involvement in sports and activities. We shake them off but that doesn't mean we don't have to deal with them or that they don't cause problems sometimes. The social attitudes of others impact me whether I agree with them or not.[/quote]

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