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Reply to "When 1 parent practices and another doesn’t "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I get where you are coming from, OP. It sounds like your husband is willing to participate in your family faith life but not willing to take the initiative when on his own with the kids. Honestly, since you are the one who has begun to embrace your faith more seriously, you kind of need to meet him halfway. The participation level you describe is more than most Catholic families anyway. If it was me, I would accept that it's not going to happen if you aren't the driving force but try to minimize that reality in front of your kids. Go to regular Sunday Mass and Holy Days, but you bring them to Confession- the things you describe are not a hill to die on and as others have said- you cannot control other adults. Be grateful he is willing to go, pray that he becomes more active and if he is not actively bashing the Church, continue to make the faith a part of your home life too. My own kids are almost raised but I recently came across the statistic that children raised in households where the father led the faith life are four times more likely to practice Catholicism as adults. My husband was always willing to attend Mass but not as enthusiastic about praying at night or going on Holy Days. Our kids are varied in their levels of involvement now that they live on their own. I wish I had encouraged my husband to take on more of the faith formation role. I think he would have been willing because he wants our adult children to be practicing Catholics but we never really discussed it. I had that role because it meant more to me. Be patient with your husband, have a heart to heart and ask him to take some leadership in this area and lay off if it's not exactly the way you would do it. Praying for you, OP.[/quote] Realistically, it is unlikely the OP's kids will believe in the Catholic faith, much less continue to practice, into adulthood. The OP's own path demonstrates you don't need to indoctrinate children before they can think for themselves, and attempting to force it as the OP has described would seem to be counterproductive to her long-term goals.[/quote] You’re right. Ouch. I’m not forcing anything by the way. When I pray the Rosary, I never force anyone to sit with me. I don’t force Confession. In fact my kids will say I’m good, Ma and just sit in the pew and wait for me. I’m fine with that. What I am more searching to establish is that this is what we do. Faith and ritual are powerful anchors in this world and when the SHTF in life, prayer is there. That’s all. But you’re very right.[/quote] There's a spectrum, and it's obviously hard for anyone else here to know where your actions are falling. But I find the "this is what we do" statement confusing, as it seems to downplay the motivation and beliefs behind it. I could understand for young children who aren't yet in a position to really understand those beliefs, but from the way you talk about them, it sounds like they're already teenagers (or close to it). They seem to be at an age where they are forming, and may have already formed, their beliefs. Doesn't forcing them to go through the motions devalue the practices?[/quote]
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