Reply to Do you hug relatives you dislike to not make waves at family gatherings?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're pretty weak if you can't muster a hug, which most realize is performative anyway. Grow up. Of course you hug everyone if everyone else is doing that. [/quote]

How is it "weak" to decline to participate in what you just acknowledge is a performative hug? You are calling people weak for refusing to give into a cultural norm that even you think lacks meaning or purpose. That makes no sense.

It takes strength to set a personal boundary with family, especially when you know it might upset them. But guess what, I choose not to hug family members when I don't feel comfortable with it and it's fine. We're still family and there has been no dramatic fallout. Turns out it doesn't matter that much![/quote]

Believe me, they all talk about you once you leave after choosing who to hug and who to ostracize. It is called a "cultural norm" for a reason -- because it's seen as normal. Not participating is not normal. Deciding not to hug particular people at a gathering is really offensive and hurtful and just plain weird.[/quote]

If people want to sit around gossiping about who I did and did not hug, thus making it a much bigger deal than it actually is, that is their business. I would never make a big deal about something like this because forcing people to touch me or other people is not important to me. Shrug.[/quote]

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