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[quote=Anonymous]Sexually active husband of 24 years here.  I kinda saw and heard about the post marriage/kids sex dought.  This is what I did that seemed to help:

1. Before we got married we both read and talked about the book His Needs/Her Needs.  This made it clear from the beginning the things she needed to not build resentment. I remindeded myself regularly of the things I had to do to meet her needs and did my best to stay on top of them. She did the same for me. Resentment was still built up over libido mismatch (in both directions).

2. From reading these forums, other forums, romance novels etc, I got the pretty clear impression that women need to feel wanted, sexy and irresistable. I do my best with compliments and actions to bring that which is pretty easy because she’s always stayed fit.

3. Next, she’s super type A and sensitive to time.  She can only see what she has to get done every day.  Sex isn’t even on the list.  With her, you have to recognize that there can never be spontaneous sex.  There also can’t be sex in a place that’s not the bed or positions that we don’t always do. And no wasting time with foreplay.  If I really need it bad, we can schedule for tomorrow at x time.

4. I stay fit and attractive.  I’ve seen the women on DCUM complain about their attractions to their dh’s.  It also helps that I have women flirt, open conversations with me or make outright plays with me while we’re in public.  I think this is mostly because I look like this older, busted face actor who’s in everything right now.  Like I look enough like him that women will creep shot me while I’m standing in a group of people talking and then ask if I’m him.

5. When we do have sex, I make sure she enjoys it and is satisfied every time.  At least that way, she knows she’s not just taking one for the team (which I wouldn’t want her to do anyway).

I think all of this adds up to retaining attraction and sex - which has been a big help to our relationship.  Our only kid has moved off to college now and I rarely get turned down when I ask.  It still has to be scheduled but can be same day.  Wine and/or gummies help.  Lol.

Anyway, I think you have to work at it to keep sex in your relationship but it gets better after the child rearing years.[/quote]

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