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[quote=Anonymous]I have family I am very low contact with. In the earlier years, my husband was all “extend the olive branch, blah, blah, blah.” All he did was piss me off. By about year 5, he realized just how right I was to be very low contact. If he had actively sabatoged me by offering to see them more, I’m honestly not sure if we would have stayed married. But that would have meant he was allowing caregiving by drunks — which he never did.

That said, I do think you should consider if “low contact” rather than no contact works for you. Low contact could be “I don’t talk to this lady but my husband texts her and sends her pictures.” And I have asked my husband to never tell me when he does this because it stresses me out.

Think through what exactly the harm is there. Who does this really hurt? If she never actually bothers to see your kids, what game is there to the kids? Is the problem your husband is a moron and tells the kids to get all excited that Grammy is coming?

I think your husband is very wrong, but I also think he will learn his own lesson soon enough. And decide if you want to spend the energy fighting about this or divorcing over it.[/quote]

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