Reply to Earning Well but Drowning in Debt...how to dig out?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, this site helped me save a lot of $, the kids can help cook and it's a fun time, we listen to music, talk, etc. In some weird way, learning basic, cheap, healthy cooking was grounding. When cleaning up I packed leftovers as lunches. We all felt better and it spurred me to find other ways of building financial security.  http://wegotreal.com/frugal-real-food-meal-plan/

You can lavish borrowed $ on them to show love, or give them the gift of time, happy and relaxed memories and financial security. Maybe even help pay for college so they can start out debt free?

We were a lot like you in lifestyle, but switching to Friday movie night with homemade pizza, Saturday spaghetti and games night and going to the park or a museum on Sunday after church are all free. Sometimes we invite another family along.

If you are lawyers, a switch to private could really boost income but with a lot more hours worked and a lot less security. Why not right size your expectations and spending and relish the job security? My parents grew up poor and never taught me budgeting, cooking, etc. I lavished $ on my kids but also worried about debt. Reading Michelle Singletary and finding healthy affordable meal plans made being secure seem appealing and doable. The lessons she got from family and that she passes on make for a feeling of accomplishment and security that credit can't give you. Imagine what you want kids to remember if they grow up in house you are in. Relaxed loving parents who valued security and family time? Or lots of time in car and delivery pizza? I realized that what seemed gratifying in the moment was not moving us toward what I really valued.

If you do end up splitting, one or both of you may end up in bankruptcy. Start taking steps now to be more financially conservative and to feel good about it. Your husband might not want to engage but you can still make a lot of progress. While they are little, try to maximize family time together while keeping earning potential as high as possible. Mommy tracking does your kids no favors in age of Ashley Madison, many learned that lesson the hard way.[/quote]

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