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[quote=Anonymous]OP's DD has trouble regulating her emotions.  My DD is the same way.  Kids like this become FAR more hurt than others, they can't just laugh things off.  It can become a serious problem as they get older because life gets more stressful.

This is a nature versus nurture thing because part of this is certainly wiring.  OP's DD has probably always been sensitive and it appears OP is as well.  The problem is that OP's reaction to this situation (and I'm guessing others) makes things worse.  She took it out of her DD's hands, thereby depriving her of a lesson in managing difficult emotions and situations.  And her own reaction was so strong that it just fanned the flames.

The problem is measuring what happened here by OP's reaction and her DD's reaction.  So posters who want to be sympathetic se show upset they were and work backwards to conclude that the actions justified this level of upset.  I'm sympathetic to OP as well.  I know what its like to have a DD who gets very, very upset.  Its really important to validate the DD's feelings because they are real.  And its also possible that she needed OP's help to navigate the situation because she just doesn't have it in her -- yet -- to do it herself.  But OP is little help if she has no dispassionate distance, if she can't separate her reaction from her DD's.

These were friends, thats the context.  They behaved badly but this was not part of some larger pattern of behavior.

The problem with OP's reaction is that not only will it further exacerbate her DD's sensitivity, but it will drive away these friends.  Why would they put up with this?  This is especially true because there are two of them and they don't need OP's DD.  Who wants a friend who not only runs to her mother but gets their own mothers involved?

OP should have validated her DD's feelings -- "Wow I can see how upset you are.  I'm so sorry, I know this is not what you expected from your slumber party" -- and helped her wash it off.  Then she should have helped her calm down and once calm encouraged her to express how she felt to the other girls.[/quote]

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