Reply to No, I dont want to date women in their 40's

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[quote=Anonymous]The 40 year olds must lie

Q.
WIFE LIED ABOUT HER AGE
Dear Prudie, Three years ago at 34, I married my wife, who I thought was 33. We both wanted children, but when this didn't happen we began consulting a fertility specialist. After she started asking questions, my wife admitted she is actually eight years older than she and led me to believe. She's 44 years old! She's willing to try massive doses of hormones to get pregnant, but I don't want her to do that for health reasons. I'm willing to consider adoption. She says, of course, that she feared I would walk away if I knew the truth, but she must have known it would come out sometime. I think I still love her, but I feel so betrayed! Any thoughts on helping us get through this?

A.
EMILY YOFFE :
Let's get to the most impotant issue first -- what is your wife's beauty regimine because if she convincingly looks eight years younger she's doing something right. You say you're willing to consider adoption, but I think that gets you to the wrong kind of professional. If I were you, I'd be considering the services of a lawyer. People betray their spouses all the time. But letting a husband believe you're years younger than you are -- with all the implications for child-bearing, is a grotesque deception. From now on, you're always going to wonder if anything she says is the truth.  Because you are a man, at 37 you are lucky enough to not have big worries about your fertility.  Maybe if your wife had been honest with you from the beginning, knowing her age you would have adjusted your planning and expectations for children. But she lied. So I think you need to prove her right in her assumption that when she found out the truth, you would walk away.

– December 23, 2013 12:34 PM
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