Reply to Ex won’t make food our daughter will eat

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky! [/quote]
Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre. [/quote]

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids. [/quote]

You say you do this "often." You purposely make a dinner you know none of your kids like and tell them to eat yogurt or something if they don't like it. This is a choice, and you're definitely communicating something to your kid. Imagine if you went to visit your parents and they made a whole meal they know for a fact you don't like, and told you, oh well, if you don't like it eat a yogurt or something? Children and teenagers are their own individuals and they're allowed to have food preferences. But unfortunately they're dependent on YOU to purchase food for them. [/quote]

I grew up with my parents making meals I didn't like all the time because I was picky, and my brother had opposite taste so someone was always going to be unhappy. I didn't even get bread and yogurt or microwaved leftovers, we ate what was on the table or went hungry. My husband was raised the same way. I think we're being FAR more accommodating and possibly coddling pickiness with offering these alternatives as is. "Nobody gets to eat Chinese food until Larla goes to college" and "no vegetable-based meals because kids are grossed out by veggies" is an INSANE way to live.

Children are not house guests who visit occasionally. They are people who are learning about food FROM their parents, who do the cooking and know what an actual nutritious meal looks like. I don't make food my kids dislike every night, I even try not to do it multiple nights in a row, but saying the tastes of my 6 year old should dictate our entire family's meals indefinitely is, again, insane. [/quote]

There is a pretty wide spectrum between letting kids dictate your meals and regularly making a meal over half your household does not like. I care about my child being properly nourished so if I know they don’t like tofu, I would make sure there is another source of protein they will eat with the meal. Attitudes and ideas on feeding kids have evolved, by the way.

I grew up with a mom like you and I’m still mad about. She insisted on making sloppy Joe once a week. I HATED and still hate sloppy joe and it’s not any healthier than any other meat dish she would make.  My favorite was a nice cheeseburger. Guess what was never on the family table?[/quote]

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