Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see why so many teens have terrible eating habits and are unadventurous. So many of you reinforce it and on top of it think you are doing a good thing.

A lot of women of teens, generally daughters, act like it’s a flex that their daughters are so pampered and spoiled. “She won’t eat anything except (expensive takeout).” “She likes a fresh fruit smoothie every day and throws a fit if I run out of fruit” “She insists on (skincare) and won’t use anything else! I’m going broke paying for her bath supplies.” “I had to get a funeral dress overnighted from Nordstrom because she refuses to wear anything from Kohls” they’re not even complaining! They think it’s endearing. All of these are real life examples I’ve heard.

Anonymous wrote:I can see why so many teens have terrible eating habits and are unadventurous. So many of you reinforce it and on top of it think you are doing a good thing.

Anonymous wrote:The more I read this thread, the worst I feel for a lot of your kids. Do you guys get pleasure in being weird and controlling with food?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

You say you do this "often." You purposely make a dinner you know none of your kids like and tell them to eat yogurt or something if they don't like it. This is a choice, and you're definitely communicating something to your kid. Imagine if you went to visit your parents and they made a whole meal they know for a fact you don't like, and told you, oh well, if you don't like it eat a yogurt or something? Children and teenagers are their own individuals and they're allowed to have food preferences. But unfortunately they're dependent on YOU to purchase food for them.

I grew up with my parents making meals I didn't like all the time because I was picky, and my brother had opposite taste so someone was always going to be unhappy. I didn't even get bread and yogurt or microwaved leftovers, we ate what was on the table or went hungry. My husband was raised the same way. I think we're being FAR more accommodating and possibly coddling pickiness with offering these alternatives as is. "Nobody gets to eat Chinese food until Larla goes to college" and "no vegetable-based meals because kids are grossed out by veggies" is an INSANE way to live.

Children are not house guests who visit occasionally. They are people who are learning about food FROM their parents, who do the cooking and know what an actual nutritious meal looks like. I don't make food my kids dislike every night, I even try not to do it multiple nights in a row, but saying the tastes of my 6 year old should dictate our entire family's meals indefinitely is, again, insane.

There is a pretty wide spectrum between letting kids dictate your meals and regularly making a meal over half your household does not like. I care about my child being properly nourished so if I know they don’t like tofu, I would make sure there is another source of protein they will eat with the meal. Attitudes and ideas on feeding kids have evolved, by the way.

I grew up with a mom like you and I’m still mad about. She insisted on making sloppy Joe once a week. I HATED and still hate sloppy joe and it’s not any healthier than any other meat dish she would make. My favorite was a nice cheeseburger. Guess what was never on the family table?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

A nice big salad is a staple of my "adult diet." My elementary schooler is not going to eat a salad for dinner, he just won't. Do you think I should make salads for us, even though I know he doesn't like it? It's a normal meal, right???

Yes, you should keep giving your child salad. Is this a serious question?

Yeah I'll l cut the stuff into strips (carrots, peppers, cucumbers, the lettuce ribs) into strips and let my kid dip them in ranch or hummus but I absolutely serve my first grader salad for dinner. It's weird you wouldn't even try.

I took my kid Germany (my family lives there) and he didn't love everything he tried but he did try a bit of everything and found new things he liked. And he's 7, not 17.

You would serve your kid an entree salad for dinner? My kid likes plenty of other vegetables but not salad. At that age I didn't like salad either, I developed a taste for it as an adult....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

A nice big salad is a staple of my "adult diet." My elementary schooler is not going to eat a salad for dinner, he just won't. Do you think I should make salads for us, even though I know he doesn't like it? It's a normal meal, right???

Yes, you should keep giving your child salad. Is this a serious question?

Yeah I'll l cut the stuff into strips (carrots, peppers, cucumbers, the lettuce ribs) into strips and let my kid dip them in ranch or hummus but I absolutely serve my first grader salad for dinner. It's weird you wouldn't even try.

I took my kid Germany (my family lives there) and he didn't love everything he tried but he did try a bit of everything and found new things he liked. And he's 7, not 17.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

You say you do this "often." You purposely make a dinner you know none of your kids like and tell them to eat yogurt or something if they don't like it. This is a choice, and you're definitely communicating something to your kid. Imagine if you went to visit your parents and they made a whole meal they know for a fact you don't like, and told you, oh well, if you don't like it eat a yogurt or something? Children and teenagers are their own individuals and they're allowed to have food preferences. But unfortunately they're dependent on YOU to purchase food for them.

I grew up with my parents making meals I didn't like all the time because I was picky, and my brother had opposite taste so someone was always going to be unhappy. I didn't even get bread and yogurt or microwaved leftovers, we ate what was on the table or went hungry. My husband was raised the same way. I think we're being FAR more accommodating and possibly coddling pickiness with offering these alternatives as is. "Nobody gets to eat Chinese food until Larla goes to college" and "no vegetable-based meals because kids are grossed out by veggies" is an INSANE way to live.

Children are not house guests who visit occasionally. They are people who are learning about food FROM their parents, who do the cooking and know what an actual nutritious meal looks like. I don't make food my kids dislike every night, I even try not to do it multiple nights in a row, but saying the tastes of my 6 year old should dictate our entire family's meals indefinitely is, again, insane.

Anonymous wrote:If this kid were living in a 2-parent household with other siblings and did not like the family meal that was prepared for everyone and was told to find something else to eat, that would make sense.

It sounds like this is one kid, going to spend time with dad half of the time, so there are two people in the house for dinner. And he routinely makes food she will not eat and then tells her to go make a sandwich. He has to prepare the meal that HE wants, regardless of whether the kid is going to have to go make a sandwich? So he's eating alone and then she's eating alone? This is such a bizarre way to treat your child during your custodial time.

I'm a single mom with one teen DD at home. When she's with me, we have dinners that we both like and we sit down and eat together. It's not hard. I can get my favorite sushi (which she doesn't like) when she's with her dad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

A nice big salad is a staple of my "adult diet." My elementary schooler is not going to eat a salad for dinner, he just won't. Do you think I should make salads for us, even though I know he doesn't like it? It's a normal meal, right???

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

You say you do this "often." You purposely make a dinner you know none of your kids like and tell them to eat yogurt or something if they don't like it. This is a choice, and you're definitely communicating something to your kid. Imagine if you went to visit your parents and they made a whole meal they know for a fact you don't like, and told you, oh well, if you don't like it eat a yogurt or something? Children and teenagers are their own individuals and they're allowed to have food preferences. But unfortunately they're dependent on YOU to purchase food for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

A nice big salad is a staple of my "adult diet." My elementary schooler is not going to eat a salad for dinner, he just won't. Do you think I should make salads for us, even though I know he doesn't like it? It's a normal meal, right???

Yes, you should keep giving your child salad. Is this a serious question?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

A nice big salad is a staple of my "adult diet." My elementary schooler is not going to eat a salad for dinner, he just won't. Do you think I should make salads for us, even though I know he doesn't like it? It's a normal meal, right???